Always playing catch up.............

Again it's been a little while since the last post, however there isn't a great deal to report (although I’ve just got to the end of the post and it’s a long one, for nothing to report like!)

I 've been on two dates, the first with someone that looked better in his photo's and wasn't very tall when we actually met, as you know that's a real issue for me, I think he is a genuine nice guy, does charity work, works for a charity but I honestly don't think that we would have much in common, he's an early riser that runs most days, church on a Sunday, just not me really, he messaged me a couple of times after the date but I can’t see the point of seeing each other again really.

The second was with a guy that is the oldest I've been out with, he is 47, I kind of do like younger guys, I seem to have a bit more in common with them and think generally guys my age look old but actually I thought he looked quite good for his age, he was probably about 5'10, it was an impromptu date, he messaged saying he was in the area and joked about coffee so I met him in Costa after work, he was nice, no lack of conversation but he told me the ages of his kids, one is at Uni and the other is going next year, it just made me think he was really old, children was mentioned (not by me) and he said he hoped I didn't want any as he couldn't any more, I don't think it's something that I am ready to write off just yet, he then made me walk to his car with him, where he turned his stereo on loudly with a soppy song and gave me flowers, a tad embarrassing in a car park and the flowers were Chrysanthemums which I would class as grave flowers. I'm a real flowers girl and I've got to say it put me off, there is no need to do flowers on a first date for starters but if you are going to do something, do it properly, I just kept thinking on the way home that I couldn't date a man that thought shit flowers were acceptable, especially on a date, you never get a second chance to make a first impression as they say and that is very true I think. He's messaged me since and I've been polite but that's it, I'm not going to be going on another date with him, too may little things.

I spent yesterday with the boys for the last race of the season, my friends son is now eight months old and he is literally like sunshine, I have felt broody since the first time I set eyes on him at a few days old and he makes me feel the same every time, he is full of smiles and wants to come to me every time we see each other and from the minute I arrive he is usually in my arms, I don't really do babies/kids but he is just something else, happy, smiley, lovely, it made me think again that although I'm well aware that it may never happen I'm not sure it's something I'm willing to give up on the prospect of just yet, maybe one day eh?

On that note, twice in two weeks I've walked into town at lunch and run into w@nk bag, it's not thrown me like it did before but it doesn't fail to make me think of what he put me through and what I missed out on because of his inability to grow a pair, the first time I almost smiled in that kind of ‘I know you but I'm not sure how’ before realisation set in and I looked away in disgust, my friend that I was with said he looked at me, he looks old, he's very grey now, still chubby and now preaching about JW's, I really missed out there, not!

 I've been chatting to a couple of guys, I'm quite keen to meet one, he lives about an hour and a half away, matched originally on Tinder many months ago (maybe even last year) but I know of him from our love of a certain racetrack, out in Germany! ;-) he is also a friend of a friend (well saying that they probably know each other for the same reason, well not the Tinder reason!) So, we matched, before the one with the girlfriend came into my life (who incidentally loves that same track and knows this person also, well he actually knows his ex really, now I imagine he was probably messaging or dating her too.......he told me he was a ‘spineless wanker who jibbed her off when she got sick’ however as the person that told me this was a spineless wanker that was seeing me behind his long term girlfriends back I don’t think that we can really take his opinion too seriously) we matched, chatted for a bit and then I decided that I'd had enough of Tinder and deleted my account. 

One of us added the other on Facebook back in July, I can't think which way around it was if I'm honest but we'd not spoken on there, he'd liked a profile photo I'd put on Facebook a couple of weeks ago but so had 50 other people, then one Friday night, there was a silly post on his page which I'd liked, he messaged me saying he'd not put it up and a friend had got hold of his phone, I made a joke and we flirted a bit, he asked for my number and we've flirted on and off since that night which was now a month ago. From our chats and interests, I think we have quite a lot in common and he's a bit cocky, which I quite like (I know, I know but I can't help it!)

I’m always pleased to hear from him he calls me Dory, because when he asked for my number he asked if I used Whatsapp or Snapchat, I said I don’t like Snapchat for conversations as it disappears and I then forget what we were talking about, he said I’m like Dory and it’s kinda stuck, so it’s Dory and Stingy (he’s a Scorpio) we probably chat a couple of times a week, sometimes more, not everyday.

So chatting last week and I said I was off to Racing this weekend which was in Kent (he is London) he said he was up my way on Saturday, I suggested a drink, he said he wasn’t sure that he’d have time but if he did he would like to, I had a feeling it wouldn’t happen but got myself ready anyway just in case, I had stuff to do so carried on with that and got lots done which was great but I guess I was a little miffed that he’d not made time.

In the mean time I’d matched and had been chatting with someone else, he’s got lovely shoulders! He kept me amused throughout the day, he’s in Ireland ready for his sisters wedding today but was still chatting quite a bit and well into the night (when I should have been asleep ready for an early Sunday start!)

I then get a message from Stingy, so at this point I was tired anyway and he’d been a couple of villages away (we are nearer 80 miles apart normally) so I was a little miffed that he’s not made the time to meet, I’ve done the talking for ages and there being nothing there when you meet and it’s so pointless, as least once you’ve met you can have a good idea.

First text came in:
1:45am ‘Hey you! X’ - I read it and thought ‘I’m not answering that now, he’s had all day (we’d chatted in the morning before he’d left) Then another:
1:42am ‘Well that was a long day. Just got home. X’ I finished talking to the guy with the lovely shoulders and went to sleep,
I was up early for racing so sorted myself out, as I was driving I saw another message pop up:
8:26am ‘Oi Dory. You stopped talking? X’ I have to admit to having a little smile to myself as this but still thought ‘well you should have sorted your act out yesterday to be honest’ so thought I’d let him wait a little longer, then another message pops up:
8:31am ‘If it’s because of yesterday just say.. but I did say I more than likely would be busy x’ I probably gave in a little bit at that point (c’mon you know you would have too!) He kind of got me at that a little bit so I responded:
8:40am - ‘I thought I was meant to be the (crab emoji – I am a cancerian!) one?! X’
8:42am ‘Just because I wasn’t around yesterday, doesn’t mean I don’t still want to see you, you Dory doughnut x’ Yeah, again I gave in a bit, while my resolve is epic once I’ve set it I can still be brought round to a point if I like someone, except in cases where they have passed the point of no return (cases such as w@nk bag and the guy with the girlfriend, then there is no going back) so I wasn’t totally truthful in my response but I didn’t want him to think I was annoyed with him for not meeting when we didn’t have a firm plan and I knew it might not happen (but hoped it would)
‘I’ve not got the arse, had a really nice day’ x (I should have probably not been quite so positive, made it sound a bit more like I wanted to see him?!)
‘Oh good (smiley emoji) x’
‘Thought I was in trouble there with you not replying lol x’
‘Would you be bothered?! x ‘
‘Well by me messaging you quite a bit there of course! Don’t want to be in the dog house x’ (Smiley Emoji)
‘You don’t seem the sort to be bothered! x’
‘Well you’re a decent woman (winking smiley emoticon) x’
‘Stop sucking up! X’
‘You don’t know that x’
‘Ok well you seem it (laughing emoji) x’
‘The internet is a wonderful thing (laughing emoji) x’
‘Isn’t it just (winking emoji) x’
‘Actually I’m pretty fucking amazing, today I’m driving 240 miles to deliver the cakes I spent yesterday making, dedication x’
‘Fuck me that is dedication x’ About an hour later I send a message saying:
‘anyway, getting all (crab emoji) with me, you don’t always answer me straight away either (shocked emoji) x
’ That night I had had no response so he got a:
‘Oi! (Scorpion emoji) x’ ‘Hello (smiley emoji) x’
‘Done with moaning now?! X’
‘I never moan (cool emoji) x’

That was last night and I’ve not responded since, I don’t want to be an idiot and think he’s bothered when he’s not, or is he only bothered when I’m not, is that how it works, he did appear genuinely bothered when I didn’t respond but with men these days who knows eh?!