The week is nearly over......

It's been a long week, a very long week...............

Cake Destroyer is doing my head in a bit, still long messages but they are more infrequent now, a couple a day probably, usually one first thing (although there wasn’t one today but he’s not been online since he sent me the last message last night) now, I don’t know if I’m being paranoid because of what’s happened in the past or that I’m not being paranoid and I won’t hear much more from him.

Now there was no chemistry on date one, so I shouldn’t really be too bothered, what bothers me most is when someone is so keen and then it drops off, although the messages have still been really involved and I know that basic training is a killer, so it could be that but he’s not suggested a day to see each other again yet.

So, last night I was trying on my outfit for the party this weekend, it’s a 1880’s Western themed murder mystery and my part is a saloon girl.

So, my outfit is a red corset (it’s simply beautiful and fits amazingly well) a skirt (as yet undecided) a pair of stunning shoe boots, that I just won’t be able to wear for very long as they will kill me but they are going to be worth it, patterned fish nets, it looks great but I can’t decide between the final two skirts, one is shorter, one longer, same sort of style.

Before you think I'm getting dressed up because there will be lots of men there, there won't, certainly no single one's but I do take getting dressed up very seriously!

I get a message from the Best Friend to say that he’s out with the Car Salesman and about the Ex, he wants us all to do dinner, which I’m cool with, I sent him a photo of the shoes (he likes a girl dressed up) he says he likes them so I ask him to help me choose a skirt, he likes the shorter one, no idea why I bothered asking if I’m honest, I should have known.

A little later I get a message on FB from the Car Salesman, saying he’d been out with BF and we need to talk and that he loved my shoes, I asked why we needed to talk and that he’d ducked out of dinner, he said that BF is in bits which is why we need to talk and he would be more help with outfit choices than BF, he said we have joint custody of them.

Anyway, he offered to help me choose a skirt, so I sent him photo’s, one of the short and one of the longer (both in heels, fishnets and corset) he chose the shorter outfit but said that I looked hot and that even 18 years later I still look incredible, apparently I have an amazing smile and boobs!

He went on to say how I suit a corset and that I am a ‘walking fantasy with attitude’ I think he was pretty impressed with the outfit overall!  He sent me his number and said to text him.

I brought up (as I always do) the him shagging my mate thing, it’s not even a skeleton anymore, we literally laugh about it, he again told me it was the worst decision he’d made and what a twat he was. He talked about the date we’d been on five years ago and how good it had been, he said that things around that time were crazy and he’d tell me when we met up, but I said I wanted to know, anyway turns out he’s had a one night stand a month before we’d met and she’d called the next day telling him she was pregnant with twins, it was all messy and it kept getting worse, a cancer care, a new boyfriend, losing one of the twins, death threats which is why he pulled back from me at the time. He told me how much he’d loved that evening although he knew I’d hated his film choice. He said he’d remembered how good a kisser I was and described it and he’d wished we’d sorted our acts out 18 years ago when we first met.

He talked about the day we first met and how he remembers it, that I’m still hot now only have better taste in corsets but that he remembered I always had excellent taste in underwear (he’d obviously caught me on the right days or when I was prepared!) his last message to me (I went to sleep) was that he was ‘Lastly, I’m sorry for being a cunt, a massive cunt’ which to be fair I don’t think he was really.

We were both young, I didn’t know what I wanted, he thought he did, I couldn’t decide, I was 21, in a new job, surrounded by some pretty hot men and I didn’t know what I wanted, however sleeping with my then best mate was obviously taking it too far, although in fairness we were never actually going out, just seeing each other so really he wasn’t in the wrong for sleeping with someone else, just for doing it so close to home.

Sometimes I think familiarity can do funny things to you, he’s safe for me because it’s old and familiar, it’s like the cuddly toy I’ve had since I was a baby, I know I can always go back to it for comfort but then I know I can leave it in a cupboard for 5 years and not think twice about it too.

The four of us have always had such good banter together, so although I can’t imagine curry will happen it would be nice for it to, it’s been years since we’ve seen each other, life is a funny game, he’s asked today why I don’t have a man in tow and if I still have very little time for knobheads, which yes I do still have little time for knobheads!

Mr Bumble keeps popping up, nothing exciting to report, Cunt Face as ever pops up and disappears, I hope his rash itches like fuck! 

The weekend was tragic.........

Had a nice day at racing Saturday with the family I choose, however Sunday was marred by a big accident at the circuit, with a rider high siding and being run over by his team mate (totally unavoidable) it was several hours later that we heard that rider had died and his name was released, only to be someone I know, not someone I know well but he used to be a customer of mine in a previous life, we were Facebook friends for the 5/6 years that have elapsed, we'd chat on messenger at times and I'd had a conversation with him on Saturday evening, I feel numb.

He was a good person, that had been through a lot, an ex Royal Marine, an amputee after an accident, a positive, lovely tough gentleman with a heart of gold and he's gone, out there doing something he loved but that's still no reason to tell someone it's better because he was doing something he loved, it's not, it's really not and the next person that tells me that might get a punch in the face.

It's funny, when it's someone you know it brings it so much closer to home and makes you think about life a little differently, awful as it sounds but it’s a lot easier to be clinical about things when it’s another racer that you don’t know, that isn’t in the same paddock and in the same race with your own rider, still awful but not as awful.

It’s brought a lot of things back too, three years ago I lost a friend who was racing at one of the worlds best and most dangerous road races, it was his second year there, I’d known him for a couple of years prior to that and he had worked for me, he was a great guy, we flirted, he was married so I made sure it stayed at that but if I’m honest I always thought that there was a tomorrow for something to possibly happen between us if it was meant to be, until the day that I had my interview for my current job.

As always I’d messaged him that morning telling him good luck and to stay safe and he’d responded, I’d had the interview that had gone well and went over to my hometown to spend the day with one of my best friends/mum substitute, that afternoon I was just getting ready to leave and had a scroll through Facebook, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, everywhere I looked were RIP messages. All that went through my head was don’t be stupid, why are people doing this, it wasn’t until I saw it coming up on pages of mutual friends that I believed it had happened, I cried all of the way home and continued that for days.

He was two years younger than me (as is the person that died this weekend) he had two young children, while he might not have been perfect he was a good bloke, he’d had his moments over the years (lots of them very high profile moments) but a nice guy that was very personable and was always decent to me.

Often he’d get me tickets to the rounds (he always offered) I’d offer to pay him and he’d tell me that one day I would pay him in kind for them, I don’t know if anything would have ever happened between us but I guess from that day I felt I’d been robbed of the chance a bit, should I have cared about the wife if he didn’t? Would it have made anything better? (We all know it wouldn’t, if anything it would have probably got very messy and been worse)

What it did do for me is make me think a bit more that I needed to hold back less and grab hold of things more, that day changed my life a little bit and I think yesterday will too. To this day he still spends a lot of time in my thoughts.

Racing is a small world, a little family really, the rider and team I go with are the family I choose and I love them like they are my family, the person that died this weekend was riding in the same series, in the same race and it brings it so close to home, two people in three years I know doesn’t sound a lot but it feels it.

Anyway, back to dating disasters which seems almost cheery compared to the rest of this post.

Cunt Face did get in touch, the day after I was near where he lives, I know, typical, I know. He asked how my visit was, I wanted to ignore the twat but you know I couldn’t hold that out for long, we had a general conversation, he told me he was struggling with itching (I wasn’t sniggering, honest, ok, I bloody was) I asked if it was all of the nasty things he’d been touching, he replied that the last thing he’d touch was ‘some southern fairy’ meaning me, not being funny but I doubt that is the case – by the way, this isn’t something nasty (well I don’t think it is!) and it’s not been caught off me as we’ve not been intimately close, just so you know like! I imagine he’s probably changed aftershave or washing powder or something and it disagrees with him, however him, being him he’s gone to the Dr and asked them to conduct all sorts of tests to find out why.

Now I’m a bit allergic myself, so I get it’s annoying but really? Spoke briefly over the weekend but as usual no substance, I Snapchatted him in my outfit for this weekends party last week, his response was ‘Erections, erections everywhere’ so I guess I look ok in it!

Cake Destroyer got in touch on Friday evening, I was pretty impressed really that he’d appeared back on Whatsapp and within an hour I had a message, with an apology for the lack of responses, saying he’d just got back from exercise, asking how I was and how my week was.

I said I’d not expected him to respond as I knew he was away being beasted, we chatted for most of the evening, I do find Whatsapp a bit of a fail sometimes though, because I can see if he’s read my message and not answered I then get annoyed, when we were on Tinder I didn’t know if he’d read them or not, so it didn’t matter.

Now, I could turn off my last seen but I don’t want to do that (CF does that but I can still see when the tosser is online, if I am at the same time) but then I get annoyed that he’s read it and not come back to me.

His messages appear to be in the same vein but he’s not suggested we meet up again as yet and responses aren’t as fast as I’d like but then I respond ridiculously fast (to everyone) and I guess he has just been away for a week though and then had a working weekend but he’s on leave from Friday for two weeks, so I guess we won’t see each other again then and I’m all good with chatting but I don’t want to chat for ages to then find that the chemistry really isn’t there, why does life have to be so complex?!

He did however send me a photo of him in blues and I've got to say that even in a uniform it wasn't his best look, I'm not sure he isn't hotter in his photos that real life but this one didn't make me want to grab hold of him and drag him to my bedroom....

Getting lots of messages again but struggling with being bothered with the boring chat currently, after yesterday I’m in need of a cuddle and maybe Prince Charming to fucking sort his shit out and appear in front of me! 

Another Week...............

Is halfway through.

No news from Cunt Face since Saturday (No surprises really) No news from the Cake Destroyer since late Sunday eve, however he is on exercise so I didn't expect to as I'm pretty sure that they aren't allowed phones (he's not been on Whatsapp since 5am Monday morning which seems to fit with me thinking they aren't allowed phones) so we'll see if I hear from him over the weekend when he's back, he was terribly complementary on Sunday after the date, so I've got no real reason to think he won't, however you know how this internet dating thing is these days, you are the best thing in the world one day and ghosted the next!

The sites are pretty busy with messages but I can't really be arsed at the moment, I'm totally bored of small talk and boring questions, maybe time to take a break? However when I take a break I kinda feel like I'm waiting for CF to get in touch and maybe I am a bit, I like having someone that messages me each day, the Cancerian in me needs to feel needed and it saves me making it all up in my vivid little imagination!

I've found it a bit odd not hearing from CD each day, as I have since we first matched, not messages all day like CF and I used to do but one first thing and then a couple more once he finishes work, however our messages are rarely short, they are always long and with substance which makes such a nice change (I did also check the Tinder distance and it's not moved so he's not looked on that since he left either) dating these days makes you a bit paranoid I think.

Mr Bumble has been in touch, he popped up saying that the serial dater needed some help, basically he's been chatting to a woman who's 'currently married' I said I'd need further details but turns out she's only been split with her husband a month ago, on that I said I wouldn't touch it, it's too soon and I think that anyone that can't have a bit of space in their lives after relationship (even more so a marriage) has issues but that I'm not like most and I regard marriage very highly and something that you should take seriously.

Anyway he's going for dinner with her tonight, she's suggested a posh seafood restaurant which he says he finds a bit odd, he also messaged last night to say he had a 'Whatsapp Date' I'm not entirely sure what that is but he says he'll fill me in and she'd asked what his favourite colour was (we joke that this is the most awful dating question ever, unless you are five years old) however I don't know if this is the same woman or a different one! He says the married woman is hot so he's going to see what happens, she also has a toddler and a lot of baggage so we'll see how that one goes.

He asked a question yesterday and it's kind of played on my mind a little bit, he asked if CD was a bit young for me (he's 29, 30 next months and I'm now 39) so it's 9 years between us. Mr Bumble is 31 so I asked if he felt I was too old for him, he said not at all, so I'm not sure why there is such a difference between someone who is 29 and someone who is 31? Is he too young for me?

Works been slow this week, which has given me rather a lot of time in my own head, which realistically is never good when you are me, I fell asleep on the sofa last night, I'm constantly tired, I do wonder if it's down to life just being so stressful in general, with work happenings the week before last and the rollercoaster that is my lack of a love life?

Cake Destroyer Date.......

So, my last update was Thursday, pre dinner with the BF's ex, we had a lovely evening, despite sulking about it BF didn't come, the ex accidentally sent him a message meant for me that said she was trying to put him off coming, apparently that went down a storm.

We talked a lot about them and the situation, she still loves my BF and always has but says she loves her husband too, this is a concept I can't really grasp, I don't understand being in love with two people, hopefully I never will as it sounds very confusing.

We had such a laugh, even without alcohol, she messaged me later telling me that I was just what she needed, my friends can generally rely on me to put a bit of realism to what they are doing, she said that she was glad she hadn't cheated on her husband, I told her that I thought that what they were doing was just as bad, for me having an emotional relationship with someone can be a lot worse than a physical one, it's a lot harder to get in my head than it is to get in my bed (not that, that is easy, if it were there would be a lot more to report here!) just look at the Cunt Face saga, he's never got into my bed but boy has he done some stuff with my head.

Talking of Dear Cunt Face, he's been quiet, not really anything new, he'll go quiet, pop up send me a barrage of messages, boom, he's gone, crazy that I still respond really, I'm not sure why I do, if I were giving myself advice I would be telling myself I was nuts and to keep well away........ he know's I'm up there Thursday and said he is on training and will check the times, I don't expect to hear from him or to see him, however you know I'd like to.

I had a great weekend, I went to the Rugby on Saturday with the Space Cadet, it's funny really we get on so well and I love him to bits but we would never have worked out, I'm actually glad that we ditched it when we did and have become such good friends.

Anyway, I said I would bake for Space Cadet as he was a right grumpy arse on Friday about the fact he's working too much (I don't think he is really, he doesn't like working - who does? and just gives more reasons to moan) so I made the Carrot Cake that Cake Destroyer had talked about with the intention of taking it Sunday and a batch of Brownies, as well as a mini Carrot Cake for SC.

I had giggles over the Carrot Cake, from our first message CD and I have been talking cake, so he said he would swap me guns for cake, I had asked him what cake he wanted and he said a Carrot Cake with a Walnut Face and a Cherry on the top, so that is exactly what I made, I posted a photo on Facebook (not mentioning what it was for) and my friends all said that they thought it looked a bit sinister or like the Wicker Man, which I thought was even funnier, we'd had a bit of a joke about my slightly scary cake in our messages.

I thought about asking him on Friday if we were still meeting on Sunday (the cake would have got a good home elsewhere anyway so it was no bother) but I decided that it was no biggie either way so I didn't. We continued chatting with these long messages that run Tinder out of characters.

On Saturday evening I got a message asking if I was still up for meeting, so I said yes, I actually felt a little excited about it, I think because we'd exchanged so many proper messages. He told me that he had to be back in the base by 6 so would need to leave by 4:30/5:00 to make sure he was, I suggested meeting around 2 saying that a couple of hours should give us plenty of time, he agreed. Based on my last date which lasted a whole 40 minutes (max!) quite often less than an hour is enough.

He checked on Sunday where we were meeting and I suggested where I had met the Bumble guy a couple of months ago, about 40 minutes from home and in the middleish, he suggested we swap numbers to make it easier, which we did.

So, we met, he looked like him, although again I'd say he was a little better in the photos that he was in real life but at least this time I recognised him straight off, I think he'll look nicer without the squaddie hair cut that he has to have currently, however when he finishes his basic training it shouldn't need to be quite so short, he looks better with a bit more hair.

We met around 2, he was a few minutes late, but we didn't leave until 5 which meant that he was cutting it a bit fine to get back in time.

We weren't lacking in conversation, he wasn't brilliant at eye contact and had some weird facial movements with his nose going on (like a twitch kinda thing) however he may well have been nervous so I'm not going to write him off for that just yet.

We talked about all sorts, he wanted to know about Cunt Face (we'd done best date/worst date) and also about the deaf guy that looked nothing like his photos, he said that his worst date had been with someone that told him how many people liked her and that she was arrogant and his best had been with someone he'd clicked with, I did say that the Cunt Face thing was a long story but kept it to the gruesome details, he said that he found it hard to believe that people would do something like that and how wrong it was, I, of course agreed, I didn't mention that CF and I are still in touch, seemed pointless and it's not like we talk all of the time.

Our moral compasses appear to point in the same direction, he knows about BF and the Ex, and like me can't see how you can love two people at the same time, he was talking about a couple of the guys that are on training with him and how they cheat on their girlfriends all the time without thinking about it and he thinks that's wrong.

Interestingly his brother met his wife online so he does have a bit more hope than me about it, as he's seen it work, although apparently in his best mans speech his Mum told him not to mention how they met, like it was a bad thing, I (and he) thought that was a bit silly as it was obviously a good thing and worked.

We talked about his ex, from what he said she was quite like W@nk Bag, she turned him into a person he wasn't, it was easier not to go out and not get the crap for it etc, I remember when I was with him, if I talked to his mates he used to accuse me of flirting with them and if I didn't he used to call me a miserable bitch, to the point of me just not going out as it wasn't worth the hassle or the argument it would have caused. He said that she used to make him video his mates if he was out to make sure that they weren't out with girls etc, a bit crazy!

As we were leaving, I asked if he wanted his Wicker Man Carrot Cake, he was a little surprised I think that I'd actually made it (I did say) I think he was genuinely a little taken aback by it (in a nice way)

We had a nice time, no immediate chemistry but I'd see him again, I got a message from him just after he got back saying that he make it just on time, he'd had a lovely time spent in my company, the cake was a surprise and my baking skills were 'on point' he said later he'd have happily spent more time with me if he could have (we were together 3 hours which I think is pretty good for a first date) anyway he's on exercise now for a week, so I don't expect to hear from him, which is a shame really.

He seems nice and genuine but I'm sure I'd have said the same about CF just over a year ago by this time last year I knew but he didn't know I knew quite yet, I remember the devastation I felt (it has literally just made me go cold thinking about it) it makes me a little sad that I still feel enough a year on to have that reaction to even thinking about it, I honestly thought he would have disappeared to a distant memory by now, although maybe it's hard to make them a memory when you keep thinking of them and you can't quite put them in the ditch they deserve to be in?

I am getting better, I don't think about him all day, every day now but I don't think there is a day when he doesn't have a little wander through my head, I know it will go away at some point, I honestly do I just wish it would hurry up.

Anyway, another week is upon us!

A very long and tiring week........

I can't say it's because I'm rushed off my feet, actually if anything it's probably the polar opposite of that, I'm nor feeling it at the moment anyway, I'm not going to lie. I have decided that we probably can make things work if all of the offices change and mine isn't here anymore, so that's good news (I think)

Cunt Face has been decidedly quiet, I'm up there on a visit next week but I think it's highly unlikely that I'll get to see him, nothing new there then and the other friends I was hoping to catch up with are away, so I'm kinda regretting it now!

I have a date on Sunday, that's a bit of a shocker isn't it? I'm going to call him the Cake Destroyer, we matched on the 16th of July and it's very, very rare that I message first but I did, he was cute but his profile also said that he was a destroyer of cakes and I happen to bake a lot of cakes, so I asked what his favourite cake was, he responded saying he could make an Olympic Sport out of it and asked what was my piece de resistance, which meant a few messages whizzed back and forth regarding cake, he then brought up lots of other questions and a nice, not the normal boring, what do you do kinda conversation ensued.

Messages have been whizzing back and forth daily for nearly two weeks now and did you know that Tinder has a character limit on messages? No? Neither did we, however we reached it, not something I thought would ever happen on Tinder!

So, he's 29 (I know, what's 10 years between friends?!) but will be 30 shortly, he's in the RAF as a new recruit after a career change, so he's currently in basic training, he's based (for now) about an hour and a quarter away from me, although after training could end up anywhere.

It's definitely the most articulate conversation that I have ever had from a dating site, he's 5'11 so he's just under my height range but I could probably live with that, we've spoken every day I think.

He had a night out in Oxford last weekend, so I advised him on where he should go and he had a good night, he had made a couple of 'I've got the weekend off and I need things to do' about last weekend, however partly I didn't pick up on it and I was away anyway so that wouldn't have worked, although I had thought the other day that he hadn't got around to asking me out but looking back he had maybe hinted at it.

So, a couple of days ago I got a message saying that he was on duty Saturday but had Sunday off so would I like to meet up, I'm not really into weekend dating as I hate being disappointed at a weekend, however we seem to have a lot in common so I said yes, so Sunday we are meeting for a drink, we'll see how that goes eh?

I imagine it will turn out that either I won't like him, or I'll like him and he won't like me, which seems the way things work out for me!

He has said that he is bucking the Tinder trend and is going to find the perfect woman, so he's after Miss Right and I'm after Prince Charming, sounds like there are a lot of things that could go wrong here!!!

I'm out for dinner tonight with the Best Friends Ex, it sounds like BF still wants to come, even though the Car Salesman isn't, which I have to be honest I'm not very keen on, at least is CS was there it would take the pressure off of the situation a bit, I'm not up for playing piggy in the middle and the night was organised so that all four of us could catch up, should I stamp my feet?

Monday.....................

It's a well known fact that I hate Monday's, this one feels particularly bad to be honest, I've been away for the weekend (spent it in a race truck) so I got zero sleep and I'm super tired.

No real updates, the ex has decided she isn't leaving the husband for the Best Friend, so that's done, although we are all supposed to be out this week, whether that will happen I don't know.

Cunt Face was in touch on Friday, with a rude meme, he's been quiet all weekend, I messaged him this morning (meme) and that's about it, I get twitchy when we are going into more days, I know where it is but it seems that my heart and my head are just not ready to communicate with each other, will they ever be when it comes to him?

I literally have willpower of steel, I can ignore anyone for months/years but he really effects me badly and I do hate it (primarily probably because so few people have that power over me) but then there is the other part where my body just responds to him when he's near me like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Few messages on the apps, Tinder, Bumble and POF all offering up men and messages but I'm just so past it at the moment.

I had a bit of a bombshell dropped at work last week, which meant I went home feeling rather miserable and sorry for myself, the short version is that I'm going to be spending a lot more time in Manchester (which is quite close to where he is) which kinda, really breaks my heart a little more, also it will cause me issues with one of my hobbies, as at certain times of the year I can't have nights away, which makes it impossible I guess, so I probably need to look for a new job but that could happen really anytime between now and December 2018, December 2017 being more likely.

The sad thing is that just over a year ago when he was talking about us being together and how I could move up there, that chance is really here now, however he isn't here with it, I use Timehop on my phone and it reminds me that this time last year I had been on that incredible date but that then I had found out about her and that everything he had ever told me had been a lie. I'd known from that second date that it was going to be one of those all consuming things, that you find so rarely in life, I'd felt it at the service station 10 days before but not quite in the strength that I had felt that day, I would have dropped everything and moved then which is pretty amazing for someone like me to say, I don't fall easily, I have lived with two men in my life, the first one had taken a year to move in together and was really out of necessity (my Mum was moving and I had to go somewhere so we kind of got swept together) and the second was with W'nk Bag, we'd already been together four years when he moved in and he moved in on me going 'this is either make or break' as we know it was break, just eight months later.

Blue Eyes and I dated for 12/18 months and when he decided he'd like to move in I decided it was time to move on, so this definitely isn't me and now I get the chance to do it all and he's not there, he's vague, not around, on and off, all of the things I know him as but it doesn't stop the 'what if' we could be having a new start now, but then he'd probably be cheating on me, just like he was on her, leopards don't change, I know that, that, however doesn't stop my heart beating out of my chest when his name pops up on my phone screen.

Funny isn't it, that if I was asking me for advice on this, my advice would be to keep the hell away from him...............

How different life could have been, if only he wasn't a lying cunt.

Are all men just scumbags?

I'm seriously starting to think that this is the case, so we had the 5/6 on the Oxford night out, the married man on the Leicester night out, then this week I've had several Tinder messages that are pretty much or literally 'wanna fuck' now I get that it's Tinder but there must be others that use it for other things apart from getting laid? If I wanted to get laid I honestly wouldn't bother with an app, I'd just use the contacts in my phone and probably go somewhere I've already been (would keep the numbers down for one thing!)

On the number subject of numbers, I'm not sure if numbers are a thing or not but I always feel bad about mine, it's not massive but neither is it small - it's 14 for those of you that are curious) so I decided last year that my number if any potential partners ask is 9, and I'm sticking to that, the other five are insignificant/didn't mean a great deal/in the past etc so that's how it's going to be, it might stay at 9 now until I meet Prince Charming - I do fear though that I'll be Dead Princess by the time that happens.

Anywho someone from the past continues to appear, I'm sure I've written about him before, I was seeing him when I was young, oh so very young (17) he had a girlfriend (I know, I know) we used to spend lots of time together back then, he keeps popping up and seeing if I want to meet him, he messaged last night asking if I fancied dinner and a hotel, I messaged back today saying I found wives a bit of a turn off....... he said something about spontaneity, I'm not going to go there, ever but why do they have to do it?

Stingy keeps reappearing on the scene, he messaged yesterday apologising for missing my birthday as he was out at the ring - I do actually believe that this one is single, I know a fucking miracle but then he never manages meeting!

Space Cadet and I are talking about going on holiday together but then he asked for photo's of my boobs, weirdly this year has been the first time he has ever done that, his brother continues to message regularly.

The one I used to go to school with still messages and snapchats me, despite being back with the girlfriend.

The Best Friend and the Ex saga continues and the Best Friend has now chucked the Car Salesman back into the mix (who is now also married) don't get me wrong it's not like I'd go there again but they all want to meet for dinner next week, just like old times - If I'm honest I can't remember a lot of going out for dinner in those days, what I do remember is a lot of clubbing, sex, meeting up, trying not to let anyone from work clock what was going on between us and trying to time our entrances and exits at work so it didn't look like we'd spent the night together, oh happy times!

Have I heard from Cunt Face? No, oh I just realised that I used to call him Monkey Boy, so if you think they are different people they aren't!

Are they all scum bags or have I just had a really bad run of it?