I’ve said it before, life really does get in the way, the
guy I’d been seeing before Christmas re-materialised and contacted me on the
dating site again (I was out and photo’s didn’t show up so I’d responded before
realising who it was) we chatted for a bit, he asked if I fancied doing
something and I have to admit I wasn't sure, conversation continued on and off
for a little while but we’ve still not seen each other.
The Space Cadets friend is still on the scene, a night in a
hotel just might happen yet but I’m still not sure (I'm such a ditherer with
these things!) we talk probably weekly or so, he’s nice because the talk never
gets to the ‘wrong’ stage like a lot of guys these days take it to, he knows
when to stop which I like, I've seen Space Cadet a couple of times since and
his name always comes up, but I’m sure he doesn't know that the friend and I
still chat.
I'm not sure I've mentioned SC’s brother? We met a few years
ago at a race and have kept in touch since, he flirts terribly with me (he has
a GF) sends me snapchats (yes, that kind!) and we catch up occasionally for
dinner, movies, kitten cuddles etc but it has been a while since I've seen him,
he suggested coming over a couple of weeks ago and came over last week, in a
vest type top with his very lovely shoulders out and smelling amazing, he was
definitely trying to impress but he’s not got so much flirtation in person, we
had a really nice evening, turns out our cars also match!!
The dating sites are much like hard work, the only other
dates I’ve been on this year are with a trainee Prison Officer who was
really nice but we had nothing in common
with and a guy that works in my building, we met online, discovered we both
worked in the same place, he left me flowers at the door, we went for a drink
but he obviously thought that a bunch of supermarket flowers was going to be
the path into my knickers, how wrong he was, we never saw each other again and
I’m always hopeful that I don’t bump into him as I come and go at work.
Baggage Boy, what can I say? Another very lucky escape there,
he is madly in love with yet another woman (in the time since we stopped seeing
each other he has literally had more women than I have clean pants and I have a
lot!) he introduces them all to his poor little confused boy, which makes me
mad, kids don’t need to grow up thinking women are disposable or that Daddy
introduces him to every woman that walks but there is nothing I can do about it,
no wonder his Mum is so stroppy!
Oh I have been on two other dates (terrible to forget
really) he is an engineer and works a month in the UK and a month in China, we
met twice when he was in the UK last, we have a lot in common and he races cars
which obviously had my interest but I just don’t find him particularly
attractive and that is a problem he is due back from China tomorrow and I’m not
sure I want to go to date three but we do have kittens due so I won’t be going
anywhere for a bit now, he’s been in touch every few days while he’s been away
but I don’t think that is enough to sustain things at the stage we are at
currently, I kind of like the thought of someone not being here all the time
but he did try to high five me on a date and that felt kind of weird if I’m
honest.
So, I’ve been having a crappy time at work, a big
restructure has been going on and it’s not nice not knowing whether you have a
job or not, the last few weeks have been particularly taxing, so much so that
the Friday night I was so fed up that I went out and got wasted beyond all
sense, only for the second time this year to be honest but it just happened to
be on a night that 22 was out, yep you guessed it, a repeat performance, what I
didn’t realise until about a week later was that it was May Day weekend, so I
repeated the same mistake, on a the same weekend a year later, just brilliant,
I excelled myself, now why wasn’t the mistake made with SC’s friend? That would
have been at least a half sensible decision, however I have decided to look at
the positive of ‘sometimes you need to get under it to get over it’ and I am
certainly over that one!
I seem to have this thing about May Day, every year if I’m
going to get into trouble that is when it happens, I turn into a total monster
and can’t control myself, hey ho, it’s done now, I’ll try to remember not to go
out next year!
The friend that would like me to have his baby is still
around, he still mentions it probably weekly, I’m still not saying yes!
Dodo Hunter still pops up from time to time, tells me how much he likes me, wants to see me, disappears! I think it will always be like that.
Something has thrown me a little bit though w@nk bag is due
to have a baby, part of me is devastated as I was ready to settle down, have
babies and he said he never wanted to, I know time changes things but I still
can’t help to feel done over, in another way I feel like once it’s happened it
is the final stab to the heart, there is nothing else that he can do to hurt me
after this and I’m glad about that but it’s overdue and I just want it to be
over, I was his nephew to announce it so that I can have 24 hours to lick my
wounds and then get on with life, I have to admit though that I do hope it is
ugly, I don’t mean a little bit, I mean hit every branch of the ugly tree and
got both of it’s parents genes, I know you’ll think I’m mean but I guess that’s
just the way it is, maybe I am but I’ll live with that, I know you should
forgive but I’m not sure I can.