In December last year I matched with a guy on Bumble, quite
nice looking with some nice photos and it was pretty obvious from the baby
lambs in them that he worked with animals.
Now if I could pick an occupation for my perfect man a vet
would be way up that list, being an animal lover someone that likes animals is important
and with cat breeding having a vet to hold my hand through birthing would be
amazing! (The list would also have most uniformed professions. I quite like the
idea of the forces as I could get rid of them for months at a time and most men
look better in uniform – although I have seen times when this rule doesn’t
work)
We chatted for a bit, did the whole what do you do etc and
he was indeed a vet, working about an hour away from me, at the time I had a
quite pregnant, very precious, pedigree cat and was fairly concerned so that
was mentioned, he was working for a small and large animal practice at the time
but large animals are essentially what he is passionate about.
We soon discovered that we were looking for different
things, he was not long out of a relationship and just looking for ‘fun’ and I have
no interest in that at all, he said that he’d like to keep in touch and should
I ever change my mind to let him know, I assured him that I didn’t see that
happening.
Over the next few days, he was very sweet, I was watching my
girl all the time and was getting very little sleep, if anyone can empathise
with that feeling it’s a vet, we had a discussion about how things were with
her and he agreed that we could well be looking at a C-Section which was already
where I was with my thinking, he’d given me his number by this point but I’d
not used it.
A couple of days later the kittens were born, by C-Section,
things were still a little fraught with a Mum that didn’t have a clue what to
do with these little shouty things that had appeared next to her when she woke
up and I was shattered, I also knew that I was going to have to feed these
little one’s two hourly until her milk came in. I sent him a message saying
thanks for listening with a photo of the newborns and he messaged back asking
how they were doing and saying he hoped I was feeling less stressed (I wasn’t!)
I have to say it was nice to have someone level headed to
talk to when everything is looking so shit, it was a really tough time kitten
wise, Mum wasn’t settling with them at all, she’d only stay with them if I was
with her, even then she’d rather be cuddled up with me, I was feeding every two
hours day and night and I was exhausted and upset, to the point that I was
looking to see if anyone had a surrogate when I had an idea and called my vet,
asking him for a specific injection for her, he wasn’t convinced but I was at
the end of my rope and was literally willing to try anything. That day I was in
such a state that my vet hugged me as I walked in, I literally was the great
unwashed, I couldn’t tell you how long is was since I washed my hair as I’d not
had time between feed’s (you’ll be pleased to know I’d managed a couple of
showers though!)
It worked, within six hours of having the jab she was
settling with her little ones, feeding them with just a bit of help from me and
became the Mum I knew she could be, which took the pressure off of me a bit, in
the week that had elapsed I’d had an awful morning where I had to revive two of
them and I was a completely frazzled zombie, I had friends telling me that even
human babies don’t need that much looking after! Once my girl was feeling
better the babies followed and started putting on weight, apart from the little
boy that was a struggle, he was putting on but not as much as the others, so I
continued to feed him as well as him feeding from his Mum.
You bond much more with babies that you are hand rearing, it’s
hard not to, just thinking of him now makes me well up. He was full of fight,
hated feeding from his Mum but fed really well from the sponge that I fed him
from, eventually in the early hours of boxing day I lost him, after a vet visit
and an X-Ray and some drugs, it’s hard to treat a baby that is so tiny, it was
awful and it’s those times when being on your own really sucks, there are very
few friends you can call sobbing at 3am when they are miles away and there is nothing
you or they can do about it.
I struggled with it, you always think that you’ve not done
enough when you lose one and I was terrified I’d lose more, I became totally
OCD and weighed them much more than ever possibly needed, probably worrying
myself more, I knew that weighing once a day was the sensible solution and
slowly as they continued to grow and thrive I managed to get a grip of reality
again.
It was literally a month before I left the flat for anything
that wasn’t a vet visit, I’d seen no one, I think I’d have felt incredibly
lonely if only I had, had time to think about anything.
If you aren’t an animal lover you’ll think I’m mad and I’m
ok with that, if you are you’ll have an idea of how I felt! By the time they
had reached a month old I had been in the office for one half day meeting,
thankfully my boss is an animal lover and I bend over backwards to be flexible,
often working when I’m on holiday so he was really understanding of my
answering emails at 4am for a few weeks and working from home for that period. That
was the only time I’d left flat for anything that wasn’t a vet visit, I’d seen
no one, I think I’d have felt incredibly lonely if only I had, had time to
think about anything.
During this time the Vet had checked in regularly with ‘This
is your regular vet check-up, how are the kittens?’ which I have to say I
thought was massively sweet and just what I needed, he always asked how the
kittens were and how I was. He said a couple of times that it was a shame that
we wanted different things as he thought we’d really get on and have a lot of
fun together, to be honest I didn’t disagree but we did want different things.
Facebook did its thing and at some point in January threw
the Vet up as a friend suggestion, I obviously didn’t add him but I couldn’t
help but notice his surname which was not only fairly unusual but the same as
someone I work with.
The lady I work with is probably in her fifties, she worked
for us as a Business Development Director and at some point of her time here
she’s worked directly for my boss, although mainly she’s worked for our team,
however she used my office fairly regularly. She’s lovely and we’ve always got
on well, she breeds Race Horses, lives on a Sheep Farm with her husband and is
very lady of the manor.
Hmmmm, thought I…. it’s can’t be………..can it?
Now, it wouldn’t be obvious that they were related, based in
different area’s and it wouldn’t be obvious that she and I worked for the same
company, her home base is two hours from my office and he’s an hour away but
the name is a bit like mine, you’d have to wonder.
I mentioned it to him and he kind of shrugged it off but in
a manner that almost seemed a bit shifty, however it didn’t stop him doing his
regular check in’s on me and the kittens and a bit of flirting.
A couple of weeks later she was in the office and we were
chatting, I HAD to know, she was saying that she had a Grandchild on the way
from one of her son’s, so we talked about that, I asked her what her other
children did, she had two sons and a daughter.
‘……….. is a vet, currently working in……………………. in a mixed
practice but he’s just got a new job working with large animals which is what
he wants to do’
BOOM! The Vet is her son, or she happens to have a son with
the same name, same job and that has told me exactly that same thing in the last
couple of weeks…… unlikely hey?!
Soooooo I mentioned him about it when he next got in touch, he
asked who I worked for and then said that he hadn’t wanted me to feel awkward
when she was in and that she disapproves of dating sites (which I could imagine
if I’m honest) he asked me not to mention it, which of course I would never do.
Fast forward 11 months and the Vet still gets in touch,
probably around once a month, he’s always quite sweet, usually asks if I’ve
changed my mind (I haven’t) I thought about him last week as his Mum was put on
garden leave before she exits the business and I missed saying goodbye as I was
in meetings but it was a passing thought.
He missed his October check in (I didn’t know this until I
checked the messages for this post) and saw that we’ve not spoken since
September and then yesterday a ‘Good evening how are you’ popped up on my
phone, it was him again, what timing eh?
It’s funny how these people pop up isn’t it? I’m pretty sure
my mind won’t change, as good idea as a Friend With Benefits sounds (because to
be fair it’s been a LONG time) I’d be worried that we’d have no chemistry and I
couldn’t sleep with someone I had nothing there with, on top of that I’d worry
that feelings would become involved for one of us.
I dated someone about two years ago, he said a few dates in
that he didn’t want anything serious which I was ok with, however once that was
said any feelings I may have developed were switched off, a few more dates down
the line he changed his mind and wanted more but I wasn’t there because he said
he wanted nothing serious I’d made sure my feelings hadn’t developed, I then
had to call it a day because we were in different places so I’ve seen it go
wrong, in fact years before that with Blue Eyes, I told him straight off I wasn’t
ready for anything serious, he got his feelings all involved and then I had to
call it a day as we were in different places again, so casual doesn’t really
work for me as it never ends like that.
I think he probably hopes that at some point my mind will
change which is probably why he keeps popping up, I don’t think mine will but
he does seem genuinely quite nice and one thing I do like about him is that he’s
been as upfront as I have about what he wants and I’ve got a lot more respect
for someone that is upfront than someone that lies to get what they want, I’m
not sure they’ll ever be any more to this story unless one of us changes our
minds………..meeting the parents could be a bit awkward eh?!
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