He's been very chatty following losing his job, I've been trying to balance wanting to support him with keeping my distance, he offered to help me with my photography homework and I obviously didn't say no, so I went over on Sunday to take some photos, he asked what I wanted for dinner when I arrived and we decided on Chinese, we went out to take photos and as usual ended up in floods of giggles, he makes me smile so much, I can't stop myself touching him and he always sits right next to me.
When we were having dinner he said how he couldn't manage talking to anyone else for as long as we do and that the only reason he ever puts the phone down is that he has to do something, we went back to his and looked at the photos, we even liked the same one's.
I was sitting on the sofa and he was sitting on the floor next to me, I have cold hands and he likes cold on his neck so as usual I put my hand on his neck, which he's been having issues with so I gave him a bit of a massage, which then turned to him asking if I'd do a bit on his shoulder so I did and it turned to a back and neck massage, he's changed his time for his son, he's now going to be having him all weekend instead of just one night, I said I thought it was great but would affect his social life, he said he had a babysitter that he could call on and said 'I might even want to go on a date one day' I'm so glad I wasn't looking at him, he would have probably seen that my face looked a bit like I'd been slapped and to be fair that would have been exactly how I felt, there was a second when I had my thumb in his neck that I felt like digging it in and hurting him.
We carried on, although it had put a little bit of a dampener on it for me, as I clicked his back, back into place he again commented that no one had been able to do it like I had, I told him about the Medium from last year (I don't know if I've gone into that?) I'll pop it into the next post, I'm not sure if he was a bit weirded out, it seemed like the time.
We were looking through old videos of his little boy, he's super cute (maybe I just think that because of his Dad?!)
I eventually left around 11:30 after being there since 3:00, he gave me a kiss and a cuddle as usual and I left, he asked me to tell him I was home (as usual) which I did.
I came home feeling terribly mixed up, I'd had such a lovely day but it had been ruined by the comment, I had a few tears on the way home, we've talked today by text, he called me early on this morning but I didn't answer as I was at work.
I've spoken to two friends about it and they've both said he's nuts (it's their duty!) he does send totally mixed signals, for me a massage is quite intimate (unless I'm paying for it, that's totally different)
Currently I feel like my happy is just past my fingertips, I can see it but I can't get hold of it, that is a totally rubbish feeling.
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