Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Car Salesman

The Car Salesman has only just recently appeared back in my life after a break of about 10 year, I guess a little background is required!

I remember first meeting him like it was yesterday, I was 20 years old and going for a job interview for a receptionist at a car dealership, I walked in and sat in reception when this cute guy walked towards me and asked if he could help (he'd obviously thought I was a potential customer!) I told him I was waiting for an interview and that was that.

Well I got the job so the next time I saw him was on my first day, I was one of a couple of girls (and the youngest by far) working with loads of men (can't really complain  at that!) anyway within the first week my 21st was coming up and I invited a few of the guys I'd met, includin g the salesman, it was a great night but I was a little bit naughty and snogged the salesman and one of the mechanics and a few others not from the garage! Well I had a few days off and the salesman and the mechanic had a chat on a break about the night out, yes I did get in trouble but all was well in the end.

The salesman turned out to be part of my life for a next couple of years, although I have to say we never actually went out with eachother, we were pretty much together every weekend and the several nights a week we went out, there was always something  between us but I don't think either of us wanted to take it any further at the time, we were both too young and having far too much fun at the time.

This however ended quite abruptly one Friday evening when I'd been over and cooked dinner for him, his best friend (who I'll introduce later) his girlfriend and my best friend (at the time!) we had a lovely meal and a couple of bottles of champagne, I went up to the toilet and when I came down the only thing I can say is it didn't feel right, it wasn't until the next night however that I learnt why I felt like that.

We were on a usual night out when I mentioned to the best friends girlfriend that I thought I might need to have a word with the best friend as she was being a bit OTT with the salesman, she said she was surprised I'd not killed her the night before, I think my face must have told her that I didn't know about the night before.........

Nightmares ensued, work was hellish for a little while, the best friend was pinned to the wall, the salesman had an awful lot of trouble getting his cars ready to go out on time as they all had to go through me and the atmosphere was awful, they went out for a bit but he dumped her saying she was mental and as soon as he dumped her she told him she thought she was pregnant (she wasn't, this was common practice with all men that dumped her!)

He told me he'd made a huge mistake, blah, blah, blah and that was  pretty much the last I saw of him, however his best friend and my male best friend are the same person, he was the finance manager in the garage and I still see him at least once a month for a curry and a drink, so a couple of months ago when I got a text from the salesman saying 'best friend says you still look great' I was a little surprised (mostly that my best friend would say that about me to be honest!)

Anyway the salesman and I have been talking for the last couple of months by text, he has a girlfriend and I've made it pretty clear I wouldn't be interested, however today I've had a text saying their on a break and their going to make the decision when she gets back from holiday, if they split would I be interested in going on a date?! Oh and telling me what a jerk he was and how much he likes me and always has, argh!!!!!

Sunday, 16 January 2011

The Stripper

The Stripper e-mailed me on POF, all very pleasant, told me he was self employed, I did think his photo's looked a bit professional but didn't think much more of it, he asked me to chat on facebook, so I added him, it then became apparant that he was a stripper (yes he is tall, dark and handsome!) I was to be fair a little unsure but we carried on chatting and after a conversation with a friend we have booked him for a ladies night, that I thought would be an end to it, however since then I've had piles of texts, missed phone calls.

Part of me thinks, he's tall, dark and handsome, surely him being a stripper shouldn't stop me, the other thinks god I wonder where he's been, he assures me that what he does is all above board but seriously he's already told us that we've got to be naked to have massages, that doesn't sound above board to me?!


Well after another day of texts Space Cadet has finally got around to arranging that drink.......Friday if we both manage to get in from work on time (which I'm thinking is unlikely for me at least) so I still don't think it's going to get there!

I've also been getting texts from the stripper today (I'll have to fill you in on that one later) He's quite insistant on coming to give us massages ahead of his booking!

Saturday, 15 January 2011

The blast from the past

I don't really know where to start with this one, we used to hang around in the same group while I was in my late teens, early 20's but I can't say I knew him well, he requested me as a friend and because I knew him I accepted, the sunday after New Year a message arrives in my inbox asking how I am etc and 'I know this is a bit random but would you like to go for a drink sometime' Well I did think it was a little random and wasn't sure about going for a drink with someone I hardly remembered so we've been e-mailing and getting to know eachother better, I've agreed to go out for a drink but I can't really go out in the week and he's working weekend shifts for the next few weeks so it's going to be a while yet, he seems really sweet but will there be any chemistry?

Flowers Boy

I received some very beautiful flowers just over a week ago from a guy that I used to go to school with, we've been talking on Facebook and he's been asking me out for a while, I initially thought just as friends but the flowers kind of tell me otherwise, the thing is I'm really not sure I'd like him as anymore than a friend, I've known him for about 20 years although seen very little of him in the last 10.

I honestly don't think that any girl can not be a little overwhelmed by flowers out of the blue, it was such a lovely surprise it really did make my week, I guess I need to decide whether to go out or not?

The many e-mails

I've been amazed at the amount of emails I've had on the dating sites from men that are either pervy or old, or both or just plain weird, I guess that's what I should expect from internet dating?

I work a lot of hours in a high pressured job, I don't meet people in work and I don't think I'd meet the 'right sort' of people in the places I go out of work so it seems like the logical option doesn't it?

I'm sure there must be some amazing guys out there somewhere...............


The Psycho appeared in my life one very boozy summer Sunday afternoon, we'd been drinking since 12, including vodka jelly with lunch, I spent all of the afternoon with a pint of cider in one hand and a glass of never emptying Pimms in the other, what more could I want?

It was a lovely summers day with bands on outside, before we knew it, it was getting dark and this guy appeared from nowhere, he knew some of the people that I was out with so joined us and ended up talking to me a fair bit, coming to the end of the night, most of the people I was with left but I still had half a pint so we stayed and carried on, we discovered that he lived next to a friend of mine, very close to my house (and opposite my knight in shining leathers, yep you couldn't make it up, you just couldn't!)

He offered to walk me home but on the way I fell over and hurt my knee, about half way home my leg felt funny and I looked down to find my leg covered in blood, as was my new WHITE skirt, as we got to his he offered to clean it up for me which he did, the tea was never touched and I left at 6 the next morning because I had to go to work at 8, I kissed him goodbye and that was the last I heard from him for a little while, it was difficult not to bump into him though as I go to my friends house fairly often!

The next time he really appeared was a couple of months later, I play football and he is a club coach (not for my team I must add) so I was waiting to go to the game and he was in there with his kids, he came over and couldn't have been more friendly which I thought was odd as I'd heard nothing from him and when I'd bumped into him he'd managed to say hello but that had been about it.

The next time he turned up was to our football teams night out, we were all in St Trinians uniform for the night to try and raise some money, I think it was fairly obvious where it was going from the minute we locked eyes and I left his at 9 the next morning, I had to do the 'walk of shame' home in full St Trinians uniform, which to be fair was a little embarrassing to say the least! He took my number after inviting me around again and had phoned me with his before I reached the end of his path.

We exchanged a couple of messages throughout the day but that was all I heard from him.

The next time we met was on a Friday night, another fundraising do, he ended up dancing on the tables with his trousers down and everything out for all to see, he then started becoming a bit of a pain so was asked to leave (there were only four of us there by this point) his friend got him outside but we heard loads of noise as went out as it was locked up to find his friend pinned to the wall and him going completely mad for some reason, he had within the space of minutes turned from a perfectly reasonable, if a little odd guy into a complete psycho, I can honestly say that it's the scariest walk home I've had and I would avoid him at all costs in the future.

I've actually run into him three times in the last week, all in the car, twice he has had to let me through and once I had to reverse for him to get out, I'm really not looking forward to the next time I bump into that one but it's a village and it's going to happen sooner or later, you really would have never thought that of him.

Billy Bulls**t

Now we have Billy, he doesn't quite fit into the normal picture, he's tall, handsome and blonde! He is quite frankly gorgeous but everything that comes out of his mouth is utter bulls**t!

Billy made his first appearance back in May (in fact around the same time as the Knight arrived) he asked me out within minutes of meeting and persued me mercilessly during the summer, there is an awful lot to like about him to be honest, he is pretty, sweet and you can't help but melt a little at the smile and frankly I've always been a sucker for a looker :-) On the downside he's been a bit of a bad lad in the past and has a bit of an iffy background, oh and has slept with at least one of my friends, never a good sign.

To be honest he was great for building my confidence up, told me I was beautful all the time (including when I saw him last night!) and had compliments flowing like they were going out of fashion, I did go on a 'kind of' date with him in the summer but couldn't really deal with all the stuff that he came with, he is, however one of those guys you just look and and think, yes you are fit!

He decided to tell the village that we had slept together (well I guess we did, he slept in my bed when he was having some problems at home at the same time as me but that was all that happened) I felt the need to tackle him about this last night and he denied ever saying it, the good thing was that enough people were there to hear him say it, including that he would have liked to but I was having none of it! I'm glad the air was cleared.

Now I live in a smallish village and Billy and Knight know eachother, yes you should have seen my face when I realised that one!

The Space Cadet

This one is currently ongoing! This is another from http://www.plentyoffish.com/ we've been 'talking' by e-mail and text for what seems like forever but is in fact 3-4 months now, the e-mails were going back and fourth at the rate of a couple a day but the texts seem to be going back and forth at quite a rate.

Yes, he does totally fit the tall (6'2) dark and handsome that seems to crop up here a lot! Now we had planned to go out on a date just after New Year but he got a dose of man flu on New Years Eve and had about 10 days of being sick and off work so that never happened (I am starting to get a bit of a complex about boys getting ill on me on first dates!)

I'm finding this one particularly tricky, half of me really wants to meet him but the other half is worried that he's not going to be all I want him to be (yes I know this is probably the half that is right) he has this great knack of cheering up a really miserable day for me, whether it's the 'hi honey' text that is sitting on my phone when I wake up in the morning or just something sweet at a point when I need it, it seems to arrive on the phone as if he knows I need cheering up, so if I meet him and it's a big disappointment I won't have that to look forward to anymore, oh what to do?!

So far a date has not been rescheduled, we shall see I guess?

Video Boy

I met this one on http://www.eharmony.co.uk/ all sounded promising, again over 6 feet tall, dark and not bad looking (yes you will see a pattern appearing lol!) We talked for a while on the site and he kept asking to meet, so I eventually said yes and we were due to meet on a bank holiday Monday in August, it was a mad weekend, party central here and I was out all weekend, I was determined that I wasn't drinking on the Sunday to be ready for the Monday, which was to be my first proper date in over five years, well that went right out of the window on a messy hot Sunday with lots of drinking (and eating of vodka jelly) and bands, The Knight in Shining Leathers also ended up staying the night so by Monday I can't say I was looking forward to the date with a hangover very much, I checked my phone in the morning (complete with a sleeping knight next to me!) to find out that video boy was sick and I have to say that I was pleased about that!

Eventually on a Thursday night about a month later the date took place in a gorgeous pub (more gastropub I guess) about 45 minutes from my house, it went rather well, no awkward silences, he talked for ages about his business as a wedding videographer and as I was due to be Bridesmaid a few months later we had lots to talk about, the pub shut and we moved to the car and continued talking for hours, all good it seemed apart from I really wasn't sure I fancied him and he was a bit concerned about the distance between us (over an hour in the car) we left and I had a text before I arrived home saying he'd really enjoyed himself and could we go out again, to which I agreed.

The second date was a bit slower than the first, he again picked a great little pub but I was a little concerned at how much he mentioned money and how much I must earn, he also said that his sister who owns the business gives him money as and when needed which I thought was a little odd, he also lives at home with his parents at 34 and I still wasn't sure that there was any chemistry going on, the date was fine but we called it a night as the pub closed and date three was arranged, I'd talked to lots of friends and had been told that maybe as we were getting on the rest may come later.

On the day of date three I decided that I didn't think it would happen so cancelled, since then we have had a couple of conversations but the bit that I find most interesting was seeing him appear on http://www.plentyoffish.com/ the other day, the thing is his profile doesn't seem to show the person that he actually is, it portrays someone that plays a lot of sport (the nearest he gets is watching in on the TV these days from what I can make out!) has a business of his own (well kind of!) I did have to laugh to be fair, surely they realise that you'll find out that these things aren't true?!

My Knight in Shining Leathers

Well this guy came into my life in May 2010 and appeared at a time when I was particularly low following the break up, I first met him in my local sports club, he came up to me and said 'I'm sure I know you from somewhere' I replied 'I doubt it, I'm not from around here!' I moved to my village four years before but hadn't really got into the village life (how things have changed!)
He continued to talk to me and I found myself looking around to see why he was spending so much time talking to me, he is a friend of the girl I was out with and I kind of wondered until I saw her face if she'd put him up to it, he is your typical tall, dark and handsome, over 6 feet tall, brown eyed, a running addict (not that I knew all of this at the time) and just quite lovely really.

The friend I was out with did a disappearing act and he very kindly offered to walk me home as I had no idea where I was going, it turns out that he lived in the next street, he walked me home and left about 12 hours later, so much for that cup of tea eh?!

The same has happened a couple of times since, one thing I really like is that things are so easy between us, I don't think he will ever realise how important he has been in my road to recovery, he helped to rebuild the confidence in me that had been destroyed.

I've called him my 'Knight in Shining Leathers' as he often turns up with DVD's for me to borrow and once he turned up at my door in his full bike leathers, he has excellent taste in films and every couple of weeks I'll get an email asking if he can pop around with some he thinks I'll like, these days he does just that, DVD's, cups of tea/wine and a chat, there is definately chemistry there but I'm not convinced that we don't both like eachother a bit too much to take it any further and ruin the really good friendship that's come out of it.

There are often comments when we are in the same place by people that have no idea of what's happened before, I didn't think it was that obvious!

I saw him in the pub last night and sat with him for a bit, he's had a rough time of late, I have a feeling he may crop up a fair bit in this blog.

Sunday, 2 January 2011

The two 'Big Ones'

I came out of arelationship with an emotional bully (it took me nearly 5 long years to realise that, not once in that time did he ever tell me he loved me and to be honest it crucified me on a daily basis) If we need to refer to him in future I will be using a term from a friend of mine, that term is w@nk bag! It took me a long time to get over it, I spent weeks doing a brilliant immitation of a soggy tissue until one day I discovered that all of his excuses were bu**shit and the fact was there was another woman involved (a minging one at that) I then hit anger and the recovery started (not before I impregnated his leather chair with cat p*ss, I so hope that he still has it, it really is the gift that keeps on giving!

Before w@nk bag there was a relationship of just over five years, we'll call him Mr Safe, Mr Safe was lovely, tall, dark, handsome, adoring and as boring and sensible as they get, he used to go through a phase about every six months of asking what I'd say if he asked me to marry him to which I'd respond that the answer would be a no. I think the realisation of this hit me one Christmas when he made me open a box, a box the size of a ring box, I've never been so relieved to open a box and find that it wasn't, I guess that was the beginning of the end, it was amazing really, after all that time I barely shed a tear about us splitting up, if anything I was relieved, selling the house and splitting everything was the pain but in all I was glad that it was over, you see I'm not good at going for the sensible options.