The two 'Big Ones'

I came out of arelationship with an emotional bully (it took me nearly 5 long years to realise that, not once in that time did he ever tell me he loved me and to be honest it crucified me on a daily basis) If we need to refer to him in future I will be using a term from a friend of mine, that term is w@nk bag! It took me a long time to get over it, I spent weeks doing a brilliant immitation of a soggy tissue until one day I discovered that all of his excuses were bu**shit and the fact was there was another woman involved (a minging one at that) I then hit anger and the recovery started (not before I impregnated his leather chair with cat p*ss, I so hope that he still has it, it really is the gift that keeps on giving!

Before w@nk bag there was a relationship of just over five years, we'll call him Mr Safe, Mr Safe was lovely, tall, dark, handsome, adoring and as boring and sensible as they get, he used to go through a phase about every six months of asking what I'd say if he asked me to marry him to which I'd respond that the answer would be a no. I think the realisation of this hit me one Christmas when he made me open a box, a box the size of a ring box, I've never been so relieved to open a box and find that it wasn't, I guess that was the beginning of the end, it was amazing really, after all that time I barely shed a tear about us splitting up, if anything I was relieved, selling the house and splitting everything was the pain but in all I was glad that it was over, you see I'm not good at going for the sensible options.