.......................but I'm still reeling.
I have no idea why things have hit me so hard, my confidence has taken a bit of a battering, I think it's probably just bad timing, work's been busy and hard work (especially some people) I can't stop beating myself up about missing the signs, I'm sure they were all there but I seem to have been totally blindsided on this one.
I want to stop myself but I can't, I didn't even go out this weekend, I'm totally shattered and could sleep all day, I think the old depression is creeping in, I'm feeling fairly run down, I'm still so annoyed at myself and I can't help punishing myself with what if's, I wish it would stop.
Last Monday as I got home he was pulling into the next road (yes he was going there) and I hit the red mist stage rather quickly, so badly that I had to get myself out of the house to stop myself doing something stupid, I feel like such a bloody idiot I really do and I still have to face him at some point in the future, at times like this I just want to move away!
I've been in touch with a blast from my past, I'm not sure if he's been mentioned on here yet, he's from 20 years ago so I'll catch you up on him soon.
We've still got the normal dating site men messaging but to be honest I'm really off of the whole idea of the male species at the moment, I seem to have no luck at all with them, seems if there were 100 men in a room and one was an arse I'd pick him out first I'm sure I would.
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