Men are strange creatures...........................

The last time I wrote I was about to go on date 10, I did, we went to the cinema, it was nice, film was hilarious, he was as normal all over me from the minute we met, kissing me in the cinema, holding my hand, touching my leg, normal service.

Last week he went a bit quiet, I immediately assumed he had met someone else, we continued talking but it was different, although he mentioned a film that we should go and see.

I left an unanswered text for a couple of days and then responded on Sunday, he responded quickly as normal, he asked if I would like to go out the following Sunday, I said that I thought that if we were going to continue I thought that we would need to make some time for each other.

He responded saying that he'd got a lot going on etc, he wasn't ready for serious but he liked me and we had a good time together.

I responded saying I was fine with the not serious bit but that I wasn't willing to be messed about, I said that it was fine if he had met someone else but that wasn't part of the deal for me, he answered asking if we could still be mates, to which I responded that I didn't think it was a great idea and that he'd not answered my question.

Following a bit of pushing he admitted that he had gone for a drink with someone earlier in the week, I told him that I was disappointed with the fact that I thought he knew me better and would have been honest with me, a few more messages and the conversation was over.

I was quite upset after, not so much because it was over, as it wasn't something that I thought was going to last forever but I think that because he seemed a good person I had hoped that he would restore my faith in men a little bit and I have to say that I really needed that to happen.

I am ashamed to say that I spent most of the evening in real, horrible tears, the sort that come when you are annoyed with yourself, I'm annoyed that I didn't get to call it first, that I pushed him into it but I'm one of those people that needs things finalised and needs to put them to bed.

Monday morning was spent in the same vein, sobby, upset, I feel like I've failed again I think and you get used to having someone that messages you every day and takes an interest in you.

I have really tried to be more open to things, to give them a go even when I'm not completely sure, if I didn't I'd have probably not got past date two this time but I persevered, does that mean that I'm trying harder or that I'm coming more round to the idea of 'settling' that worried me but to be honest I don't think that I am.

Sunday night the guy from before xmas popped up, he does quite regularly, he was talking outfits again and I was in that mood so I ordered one!! It arrived yesterday, I'm not sure it will ever be worn, it highlighted that I need a diet and that those kind of outfits aren't made for boobs.

Monday I was chatting to Space Cadet and we decided to go for dinner, it was a good option, he cheered me up no end with his dodgy dating stories, he is still completely lovely, he is the sort of person that cheers you up just from being around him, he lifted my spirits and made me think that it's not me that's messed up this time.

When we were out he was talking about the friend that I'd met before Christmas, he thankfully has no idea that we talk but he was talking about him in general, I spoke to him by text that night, he was rather excited about the outfit prospect.

Tuesday I went out for dinner with another friend, from years ago, was nice to catch up.

Work has been crap this week, it's not boosting my spirits, thankfully though it's kept my mind off of thinking about things, probably just what I need.

To be fair after the whole six years ago thing I'm pretty sure that there isn't much that I can't get over much more easily than that, I would really like a break when it comes to men though, why can't I just meet someone that is genuine? Or are there none?

Talking of genuine I spoke to Baggage Boy yesterday, he is seeing a woman from Germany who has just left her husband with an 18 month old, he continues to be around and I continue to be grateful that it never went any further, I love him to bits as a friend but he is a complete douche bag!!

It came to mind the other day that parents who have son's in their 20's and 30's have done a pretty awful job of bringing them up and turning them into honest, trustworthy, gentlemen, where did they all go?

Oh Space Cadets brother continues to send me nude pics!!