Monday Update.............

So, last week consisted of the car costing me an absolute fortune, a date, not enough time in the gym, the dreaded month end at work and the British Superbikes Showdown.

My car has just had its MOT and service, it’s ended up costing me £2,000 to get it sorted, a sane person would tell me that I should have got rid of the car, my head was telling me I should have got rid of the car, my head was also telling me that I wouldn’t get a car as I like as much as that one for that price and my heart was telling me that I love that car and it marks a turning point in my life, so the car has had most of the work and will be completed this week with a new cambelt, hopefully then he’ll last me a couple more years until I’m in a better position to replace him with something I actually want and when I have some more time to consider my options.

He had to stay in overnight on Monday which meant I couldn’t go to the gym as I had no car, someone from work that lives in my village kindly gave me a lift but that meant starting early, I only managed the gym twice last week which is rubbish as I’ve been going 4 times, however with month end and the car it made it really difficult, am planning on improving that this week, although I already sacked Monday off in favour of chips and halloumi, so shoot me!

Month end was even more of a ballache than usual and coincided with a date, something I will probably never do again if I’m honest,  he was bigger than I’d expected, he is over 6 foot tall but he and he has the look of someone I know which doesn’t help, his photos are from a good angle obviously and I wasn’t attracted to him, he was however a nice guy but took things a bit far with some of the conversation.

We had talked earlier in the week about my car and I was fairly stressed about it, he took the piss a little too much and went on with that part of the conversation too long, to the point that I had to say I wasn’t talking about it anymore, even then he came back to it.

We didn’t have a great deal in common but he mentioned a second date on the date and a kiss as we got back to the car, I told him I didn’t kiss on first dates (rarely do I) I felt a bit mean that he had a three hour round trip home, I thought he lived closer but in fact he’s moving closer, however he picked the venue and I had said I was happy to meet half way. He asked me to let him know I’d got home, which I did, a couple of texts and then heard nothing for three days, I’m not going to go on a second date, there just isn’t enough there.

The one from two weeks ago that is getting divorced is still messaging daily, I guess the more he messages the more reservations I have about seeing him again.

Tinder, POF and Bumble still keep throwing me up a load of shit, when I get a good match they talk for a day and then disappear, is this normal? However Monday brought two corkers with it, one from each site, we’ll see if they stay around or do the disappearing thing.

One has messaged this morning saying that he’s tried Tinder for a few days but it isn’t very him, sent me his number and said he’d still like to chat, added him on Whatsapp and he shows his timestamp which has become my new indicator of whether or not they are a ‘fuckboy’ I find ones that don’t show their timestamps always seem to turn out that way!

Sunday was spent at the BSB Showdown, the weather was good, it’s normally wall to wall mud and rain, was an early morning as I wanted to make the most of it and a long day, I didn’t get back until bedtime.

My friend’s sister was going which is very rare, we reckoned it was 3 years ago that she last came racing, we get on well, I had however noticed that in his little used twitter account there was some flirty banter between them a few years ago (he uses it that little that it’s easy to see and no, he doesn’t follow me and nor me him) so I wondered if the dynamic would change.

I was there early and although K was supposed to be down the day before and staying she had changed her mind so I was there a couple of hours before her, he greeted me in the usual manner, hug, kiss, ‘hello beautiful’ normal touch on the shoulder, arm, back each time he passed me.

A few hours later K arrived, all they exchanged was a ‘hi’ and pretty much nothing more for the rest of the day, which if anything I thought was a little strange (so maybe something did happen is what I thought!) he who doesn’t eat cake wanted some to take home and repeatedly told me how I was a legend for making awesome cake for them, a bit more innuendo ensued.

He definitely cuddles me a bit longer and closer than is strictly necessary and that was more apparent yesterday with four of us females all there at the end, the others got a quick goodbye hug (including K) he’s offered to come and meet me when I’m in London next, I think we’ll continue to be friends, he’s a really nice guy but there are too many what if’s and buts.

I nearly committed a massive fail this weekend, something possessed me to message Cake Destroyer, I looked in my Whatsapp archive and he was online, I gave myself a good talking to and went to sleep instead, it would have achieved nothing, it was left as him sending the last message and that’s how I want it to stay, will I hold out forever? Who knows.

I think I’m feeling a bit lonely currently which is stupid really as I have loads on and lots to do, I think he’s made me even more dating jaded than I already was which is bad!

This weekend also brought on thoughts of Cunt Face, every time I drive past Billing it makes me think of him because Billing was the lie that gave him away, I also drove past the service station where we had date one and I felt that bolt of electricity when he touched my hand across the table, something I’ve not felt for years before or have again (yet she say’s hopefully!)

The thought of that night and the second date still gives me goosebumps, I’ve not heard from him for a couple of weeks now, however I have no doubt he’ll be back at some point and at some point when it’s convenient for me I’ll respond, it’s different now I can control myself with him but with him I don’t feel bad using him to boost my ego, like the weekend when CD sent the Dear John message. 

Even though I know he’s a cunt and I know that I wouldn’t get involved with him again the chemistry feels good.