That horrible feeling....................

I spent the weekend with friends, which was nice, nothing to report really, various messages from various people, nothing exciting.

Mr Bumble has asked when he can see me again but nothing has been booked in as yet.

He messaged this morning to say I had been quiet so I sent him the following message, considering that I had sent the last message before saying I was quiet!

Hang on, kinda seems like you don't know how messaging works, a little lesson?

Please note that there are certain circumstances in which the following doesn't apply but this forms a general rule.

Person A messages Person B

Person B messages Person A

Person A messages Person B

Person B messages Person A

Person A messages Person B

Person B messages Person A

And so on!

I had some messages yesterday from the one with the girlfriend from last year and I didn't get much notice of them until this morning, when I was talking about a work event and realised the date, I have to say my heart hurts a little bit now.

He told me he was going home today (from Le Mans) but going to France again for a week on Monday, excellent I thought, he'll be back for when I go to Manchester for work (which if I'm honest was the reason I set the meeting up in Manchester and decided to stay for two nights instead of the one that I would normally do it in)

So, talking through diaries this morning with a colleague and I realise that I'm a week out and the Manchester trip is next week, when he'll be in France so again I won't see him, my heart sank, that's probably my last chance of being there for some time now, so I need to try to stop my heart hurting now and try again to get past it.

The thing with electricity is that it gives you all you need, it lights up your world when it's dark, keeps you warm when it's cold but it's dangerous to play with and can seriously hurt and kill you when it goes wrong, boy did it go wrong.

I can't get that bit of electricity that there as between us out of my head.

I need to go cold turkey with this one, I know that but I struggle so much with him, when I see his name flash up (I say his name but he is actually stored in my phone at Cunt Face, he knows this) it literally makes my heart beat faster, something that is a real rarity for me.

If you are reading the blog, please leave a comment, so I know I'm not just talking to myself (which is fine if I am!)