Shoe Guy………

I met through the Space Cadet and he and I met on POF YEARS ago, like in the first year I was single, so late 2009 we had a couple of dates and decided not to pursue it but to be friends and we still are really good friends.

He has all the traits I wouldn’t want in a boyfriend, he’s definitely a player (although insists he isn’t) has more female ‘friends’ than you can shake a stick at (I’m 99% sure most are from online dating) he’s flaky, rubbish at planning, late for everything, so it was undoubtedly a good choice; however he is really good company and while he’s flaky if I needed something he would be right there which is a really important factor and I love him for that, even though when we have planned something and he flakes it’s bloody annoying, so usually I invite him to things I’m happy to do on my own should he flake, such as bike racing.

We’ll call SC’s friend Shoe Guy because he has a REALLY big thing about shoes.

In the middle of 2015 there was an advert for a film ‘The man and Le Mans’ which I wanted to see, mentioned it to SC and when we looked at it, it was on very limited showings, so he said he’d get tickets for December 19^th and we’d go, he suggested asking some of his other friends which I was cool with, I kind of expected a load of girls (you would with SC) I guess they probably weren’t up for it!

I’d arranged to meet SC nearby for lunch and he would drive from there, he picked another friend up on the way there and said another two were meeting us there, we walked into the bar by the cinema and upon laying eyes on Shoe Guy all that went through my head was ‘why didn’t I wear any makeup today’ well I didn’t because I was going to meet SC who has long been written off in the romantic sense! He wasn’t amazing looking, about 5’10 with a nice smile (and a receeding hair line) but there was something quite attractive about him.

It was apparent that he had recently split with his girlfriend as the boys were talking about when she had moved out, he came to sit next to me when we sat down and made an effort to talk to me, ask where I lived, what I did etc, there was definitely a little bit of flirting going on, we had a nice afternoon the five of us and the film was brilliant.

The boys were all taking the piss out of him as he has a habit of buying old cars with the intention of fixing them up (I’m talking 70’s classics here not shit heaps) but always seems to buy ones that are much worse than he thought and he has little or no mechanical knowledge, just a big wallet.

During this time I was seeing the guy that ‘didn’t want anything serious’ so was still doing the dating thing, although I hadn’t been on dates with anyone else.

Anyway that evening on the way home SC suggested that I add him and one of the others on FB to see what they were doing with the cars (I am a big car/bike fan) so I added them both.

Shortly after he sent me a message saying that it was nice to meet me and it was a great film, I responded saying that it was good to meet him too and had been a nice afternoon, I think he thought that Space Cadet and I were together as he said things about me needing to whip him into shape and that I should get him to organise more things, I said that wasn’t a job I would take on and that I was amazed he’d actually pulled this off.

He switched from friendly to flirty REALLY fast once he realised that SC and I weren’t together, he asked for my phone number so that he could Whatsapp me photos of the current car that they’d all been laughing at and to be fair even with my limited knowledge I could see that it was going to take a LOT of work!

He’d spotted photos of me in a Halloween outfit on Facebook, which consisted of a red corset, long skirt slit at the thigh, stockings, heels, witches hat, red lipstick, curled hair, it’s a photo I love, even I who rarely thinks of myself as anything but fat think I look good in a corset. He immediately went to ‘oh you like to dress up’ I can’t deny it, I love a good party and I love an excuse to be in an outfit, so that again took the conversation to a whole new dimension.  

Then he mentioned boots, he apparently goes weak at the knees for boots, I’d had my boots on that day and then changed out of them, kinda wished I hadn’t! It was in the coming days and weeks that it all started to come out, he said he’d not told anyone before but that he had a big thing with shoes and boots, I soon realised that this wasn’t a lie he really does and for outfits and boobs, all of which I’m not short of!

The conversation went on for months, actually it wasn’t far off a year, he kept mentioning meeting up but was talking meeting up for sex and that’s not me, I wish it was but it’s not. We talked a bit about our dating but had very few serious conversations in that time, mostly shoes, outfits and how he saw himself as a bit of a Christian Grey (not sure I’d have a massive issue with that) sadly, however without the billionaire bit! One of the things I liked most about him was that he pushed the boundaries with his messages but never once in the whole time we've known each other over stepped them, this; I've found is a rarity. 

He did however offer to buy me numerous pairs of shoes, I declined. 

In December last year the messages dropped off, which I was fine with, it was obviously going nowhere but I had got used to talking to him fairly regularly. Then this year, in September I got a message from him, late night, he was obviously out but it wasn’t a beered up message, it was a ‘You’re up late’ I didn’t respond that night but did the next day, he said he was in Norfolk with his mates for their annual weekend away and that we should catch up the following day.

In that time I had a bit of a Facebook stalk (you know you all do it too!) early this year it had changed to ‘in a relationship with…………’ a very dull looking girl and although it’s very judgey of me I did think then that she probably wouldn’t tolerate his ‘thing’ with shoes, dress up etc and I imagine that the missionary position is on the menu a lot, in looks she is also a downgrade from his very pretty ex but downgrading seems to be a big thing, I’ve done it myself and despite all of my friends telling me that at the time it was only looking at photos after the event that brought it home, I had massively downgraded, sadly not only in looks but in personality too. Not only did I downgrade I fell head over heels with the bastard!

The Facebook stalk told me that his relationship status was no longer showing on there, it didn’t say single but it had gone, even more strangely that he was no longer Facebook friends with the GF, that I found incredibly strange and if I’m honest I was just a little bit excited about it.

We had a bit of a catch up on the Monday, I asked why he’d got in touch after so long, he said that he just thought he would say hi, the conversation started fairly general, work, cars, he’d moved to London, that he’d not seen SC or his brother recently, what I’d been up to, I said that I’d thought about him recently, he asked why.

I explained that I had bought new shoes, beautiful, new shoes, the kind that he would love, he said that he’s glad I remembered him in a nice way, I said that shoes and chickens (he kept chickens in his old house) occasionally made me think of him, he asked about the shoes, at no point had the GF been mentioned and I was hopeful there was a reason for that, he said that his mind had immediately gone into overtime, he then said ‘my other half will give me a slap’

Ah, so there it is, she IS still around. FUCK.

I responded with ‘Buy her some’ he ignored my comment totally, asking if my PVC outfit was ok still. I said that our conversation has been very sensible until shoes had been mentioned but yes, it was still in the wardrobe.

He said that he’d never turned up on my doorstep like he’d talked about, I mentioned that  I’d never given him my address and said that with him having a girlfriend the time had passed for us. He said he’d let me know next time he was in the area so we could meet up, I made a pretty firm stand at this and said that wasn’t on the cards, he changed his tune quickly saying he meant for a catch up, nothing else, I wasn’t terribly convinced, I don’t see him being a cheater but if he wasn’t bored with her I’m pretty confident that I’d not have heard from him.

I’m in London soon for a couple of nights, he’s asked for the dates and mentioned meeting up for a drink, he messaged me one morning last week telling me he was in Birmingham this week, I’m not sure what he expected me to say to that, I didn’t however offer to meet up.

If he was single again I don’t think I’d hesitate given the right circumstances but he isn’t, he’s also bought a place in London with her so I don’t see it ending anytime soon really, we never know what would have happened but I feel a little like this was an opportunity missed, maybe he does too?