It just keeps getting better...................... :-(

So, I never replied to the message that made me feel hurt, I never stopped thinking about it though or hurting, a few times I've closed the front door and the tears have come with the relief of finally being on my own and able to feel as upset as I do.

Had plans to see ET at a Beer Festival on Saturday night, can't say I was terribly looking forward to it but when I say I'll do something I usually do. I was picked up by ET's ex, a lovely guy, on the way to the Beer Festival he talked about 22's accident, showed us where it had happened (which makes me think he was drunk as it's probably the straightest bit of road along that stretch) it turns out he had apparently been taking people home after a night out in town (we knew about the night out bit already as I'd seen him in town) I would say he was going home, the conversation was rather awkward, especially when ET's ex said that he was probably going back to town to get laid, uncomfortable that one!

We got in the pub and walked straight into his Mum, who doesn't like me, that was fun.

We went outside watching the bands, when ET said she had something that she had to tell me but didn't really want to.

Her daughter is 21 and had been round her Nan's the night before, her Nan had been telling her about her Aunt's friend who had been seeing this 'poor lad' who had been involved in a terrible accident two weeks before and who was, wait for it, here is the killer.......... 12 weeks pregnant with his baby.

He apparently asked her to have a termination and told her that he doesn't want it but she is going ahead anyway and is very happy about it, she already has two kids, she has also, been to the hospital to see him.

I was a bit gobsmacked if I'm honest, I've spent the last two weeks hurt and worried sick and then this news lands, I'm not sure it has really 'landed' with me yet if I'm honest, I think it will, probably at some point soon but at the moment it's still sinking in, I'm still hoping it's really someone else, although I obviously know it's not, so I guess there endeth this story.

Dodo Hunter keeps making a Facebook message reappearance saying that something is meant to happen between us, bless him.

I said to Baggage Boy yesterday that if you put 1000 men in a room and 999 were nice, I would still pick the one that was a cunt, I'm not sure that's an exaggeration, that does seem to be how life works for me.

I don't know where my luck comes from, I'm not sure what I feel at the moment but it's certainly not a very happy, fluffy place, I could happily shut myself away from the world and sleep forever at the moment, work is hard going, I don't want to be there and some idiot is never far from my mind at the moment, why do I do this to myself?!

Am seeing the Best Friend for curry tonight, much needed but I don't really want to do people at the moment!