I've still not decided................

whether I should walk away with my head held high or tell her, the more (or less even!) that I hear from him the more I think he's lying and the more I think he's lying the more I think she should know.

I'm not saying I wouldn't be devastated to be on the other end of it, I have been and I know it's awful, I found out after we split but I'm sure I'd not have suffered like I did if I'd had known, I'm sure I'd have walked away more easily had I known that W@nk Bag had slept with someone else, when we spilt I asked him to leave (on Valentines Day) because I knew deep down that he didn't love me (I don't think in nearly five years together he loved me and I'm not sure that it's an emotion that he is capable of) I loved him, with my heart and soul and still today it hurts, I think that's the reason that I hate him like I do.

I wish someone had told me, which is why I feel that I should tell someone else. the more I think about it, the more I think that he's probably a serial liar, I looked back through his messages last night, there are probably 20 odd different messages where he refers to me as 'the wife' or 'his wife' talks about me moving up there (there would be the possibility with my job as my boss is moving about half an hour away from him) the future, things we can do togther, he led me a merry dance and since he realised I knew I've heard hardly anything, it's a tough, tough situation.

I've had people at work asking if I'm ill, saying I look sad (if I'm honest sad is the overwhelming feeling in all of this, I've cried on the way to work each day and sobbed my way home too, I'm not much of a sobber if I'm honest but it seems to be the way this time, I let someone in my head and this is where it took me again, life feels a little unfair and I feel selfish for feeling like that when I know that people in the world have it so much worse than me!