He then phoned me back later in the evening, I got two minutes before he had to go as there was someone at the door (yeah I bet there was) so I never got to ask.
I waited and waited and waited for him to call but he didn't, on Friday morning I sent him a message saying 'I think I've found something of yours, seems you forgot about it'
I knew he'd think it was the divorce papers photo that I send him fairly regularly, he responded with a photo of my cleavage, I was fairly outraged when that came back if I'm honest, for one that isn't his and for two how very dare he!!
So I responded with a screenshot of her FB page including her in a relationship with him and a comment saying 'I was thinking more of this'
He then responded saying he had would call me after he'd finished this counselling thing that I knew about following his Dad's death, I waited and waited and waited again, I finally got in the shower and got out to a missed call, I called him back and he didn't answer, he finally called me back.
My heart literally jumped into my mouth
He tried niceties, I said they weren't relevant and it was time to explain himself.
He told me that before we had met he had told her that he didn't love her or want to be with her anymore, I asked how far he had intended on taking things with me, he said that he had nearly told me on date two but had bottled it and that he was going to tell me when we were supposed to meet that day but it obviously hadn't happened, I don't know if I believe him about that if I'm honest.
So I asked if she was his lodger, he said yes, that it was his house but she had paid for a lot of things so they needed to sort out money etc, again I don't know if I believe him.
He apologised but in my honest opinion not enough, he said that although he regretted not telling me he didn't regret the time we'd spent together (that makes one of us!) as it was some of the best time he's spent in ages and the only time he'd not spent being upset over his Dad.
My head has literally been spinning ever since, I meet someone that I can finally see a future with and it ends like this, he has a girlfriend!
I don't know that I shouldn't tell her to be honest, he's told me since that the spent the weekend trying to sort out finances etc but I just don't believe him anymore, he's been quiet since he's been found out, I don't think I'd be quiet if I was genuinely sorry, or if I'd met someone that I thought was a bit special, maybe that's the problem.
He has told me that the chemistry wasn't one sided and he'd felt it too, the thing is now I guess that he could say anything, it doesn't matter to him anymore.
While he was on the phone I told him that anytime I think I'm going to make a twattish decision I ask myself if it would have made my Granddad proud of me (I literally loved him with all my heart and he died when I was just 8, some 30 years ago! I think of him more than ever when I'm hurting and boy am I hurting!) He went silent when I said it, I don't think he knew what to say he told me that he had never thought of it like that, that no his Dad wouldn't have been proud of him for what he's done, he said that in actual fact his Dad would have kicked his arse for it, I told him that my Gramp would have kicked his arse for it too. (I was his little Princess, I think that's why I carry on my search for Mr Perfect, because in actual fact no one will ever match up to that image I have of the only real man I've ever had in my life)
He's mentioned that a few times since, he's said he just can't get it out of his head, I guess that's good.
When we spoke by text yesterday he said that he was sorry for getting me involved in all this and that our chat had really helped with his thinking, I told him that our little chat had actually taken up three months of my fucking life, he said that he didn't realise it had been that long and his head is muddled, it seems to be all about him, however he is the one that set out to deceive, lie and hurt me, I didn't know about any of it, I would have never even bothered to meet him if I had.
I do wonder if he is only answering me so I don't tell her what he's been doing, do I want to tell her? I don't know is the honest answer, part of me does, partly to hurt her, partly to try and make me feel better and partly because if I was in her situation I would want to know if I was in her situation.
I think what he has done is so much worse than going out and shagging someone, that isn't premeditated and doesn't mean an emotional connection or deceiving someone for months at a time.
I'm angry with myself, I can't work out if I've missed the signs, I can't work out if maybe there weren't any signs, I don't believe he's staying at his Mum's as he says and not living with her, she put a post up on Sunday on Instagram but it was more of a 'you've annoyed me' than 'I'm splitting up with my boyfriend'
I spoke to a friend over the weekend, she just went 'you've fallen haven't you' I couldn't say yes, I can't bring myself to but that chemistry doesn't happen often for me.
Baggage Boy has also been calling every day, he say's he's worried about me as I'm never one to get bothered over a guy, I think this will make me even worse than normal, do I actually ask if they have a girlfriend now?
Is that how life needs to work?
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