Bad day!!!!

Oh what a terrible day, I spent all day yesterday preparing a presentation for an interview, it was the worst interview ever, I'm sure I still hadn't done enough or learnt what they wanted me to, companies these days seem to pretty much want someone doing exactly the same job for exactly the same industry and it's annoying, I really think I could bring a lot to the role but I won't get a chance.

My hero of the day is the one and only Space Cadet, I have been feeling rather down and emotional and sent him a message 'I'm in need of some Space Cadet love' immediately got a text back 'Us, Rugby, Saturday' and a phonecall, he still knows how to play it when I'm low, I needed it and I appreciated it, rugby date with him and his Mum!!

Uniform arrived in Oz, it keeps popping up on FB about emigrating!

I am in desperate need of a cuddle :-(

A very messy few days.......

It's not been long since my last post but I thought I'd better bring it up to date as it's been busy.

I finished work on Thursday, it was my last day and he kept me busy until the end, I'd been asked to go to the pub but had decided to stay in, then Uniform arrived and asked if I fancied going around for a drink, it had been a stressful week so I said yes and joined him about an hour later, sofa, wine, movie, more wine.......

I can't remember going to bed, I can't remember anything until about 07:30 when we both woke up in bed........naked, now I don't normally do naked, I'd at least keep pants on, it seems not this time, cuddled up As normal, went and made me tea, farted around like normal, sorted his keys for me to copy, I came home, feeling rather well for two bottles of wine.

I was due to go out shopping with a friend.  (Being my first day off work) so I came home and had a shower, then I started feeling a bit rough, which got worse and worse and worse, the vomiting started, pure wine I must add, I out a piece of toast in the toaster which is where it stayed until Saturday morning, I picked my friend up as planned thinking if I was doing something I'd feel better, I had to stop the car to throw up, twice, all the time wondering if I had anything to be embarrassed about, he knew I was feeling it and took the mick a couple of times, I came straight home and promptly died for the rest of the day!

I went and did the jobs with my friend on Saturday that I should have done on Friday, shopping, lovely lunch, car valeted, his keys etc and then walked up the pub for 'one' got slaughtered, lots of shots, home late, as usual, he came in, had a couple and said he was going home and he'd see me on Monday to take him to the station, he said goodbye to my friend and gave her a hug and I felt a little irritated, I guess I'd have liked a bit more time but it seems I am a bit last minute as per usual.

I knew I wouldn't see him on Sunday as he was at a BBQ, I said I'd help at the pub for a few hours and then my friends band was playing so I stayed to watch them but I only had a couple to drink and was home by half 10.

It was D Day today, I went round to pick him up and I've never seen him look so nervous, he doesn't normally do nerves, I'm keeping an eye on the house for him so as he was stressing I was telling him not to worry about things and that I'd sort them while he was away (changing sheets, binning things etc) eventually I told him to just get in the car and stop stressing, and off we went.

On the way to the station he was telling me how it could be life changing as if he likes it he hopes to be living there in the next year, I actually felt a little upset by that I have to admit, dropped him off, made sure he got his ticket, while the woman there was talking to us like a couple and asking why I wasn't going.........  And then it was time to say goodbye, I was feeling a little emotional and as he was trying to get me to take fuel money I told him I didn't want it and to 'just come here' gave him a hug and kiss and I was gone before a tear or two arrived in my eyes!

Then I text him, explaining that I had a massive memory blank and did I need to know anything! (It seemed a good time as I don't need to face him for five weeks!) he replied with 'no, it was all fine lol' I am still none the wiser as to if anything happened or not, I have a feeling we kissed but I will never know now!

I went for an impromptu dinner with a friend but I'm now sitting feeling rather sad that he's gone,I sometimes wish I was better at being more open and had spoken to him..........

It just keeps getting worse!

A fight today to get the holiday pay I'm owed has ended in me leaving on Thursday, so only three more days of work before redundancy, I'm terribly sad, I love the job and I hate job hunting!

So, yesterday after a weekend of being let down by friends and others refusing to come out to cheer me up I decided to go to the pub on my own!

I text Uniform to ask if he was going up there, he said he was and so were a couple of the other oldies I know so I thought I'd be fairly safe in having someone to talk to.

Then Uniform turned up at the door, to walk up with me (although he offered to drive me up there) he only stayed for a couple though and I did give him grief about leaving early.

The oldies were in so I chatted with them for a while, Knight in Shining Leathers walked in, he's looking better than he was, lost a bit of weight and looks more like himself, we talked for a bit, he mentioned how it's not going so great with the GF and how he doesn't think it will work out long term, for a boy that doesn't talk to anyone we do have some heart to hearts!

We had a new arrival into the blog, although I've known him for quite a while, I don't have a name for him yet but if he keeps appearing I might, he was talking to me about work etc and FB messaged me when I got home saying he'd have stayed out with me if it had not been for his son giving him a lift, he did suggest that I might like to join him but I declined, he's a really nice guy but I get the feeling he's got quite a few miles on his clock which isn't something I really want, we will see if it goes anywhere.

I was talking to a couple of the boys in the pub when Knight in Shining Leathers suggested selling myself to make some money, Uniform came out with the fact that I wouldn't be of much use as I couldn't get down on my knee's!!! Cheeky sods the pair of them!

I am still getting regular messages from Smiler, he even said he'd come over and see me, I've not said yes yet though, I think that might be a bit weird!

Probably not a lot to come this week, Uniform is away for 5 weeks on Monday and in a funny kind of way I'll miss him, say's the girl that didn't want to be with him, sometimes I question myself!!!!

Sometimes life sucks.......

It just gets worse here, currently I feel like I must be one of the unluckiest girls in the world, on Thursday evening at 8:30 PM I was made redundant (if your thinking wasn't it bank holiday weekend then yes, you are correct) what amazing timing? Just in time to ruin my whole weekend, yay!!!!

I spent most of Thursday evening in tears, it's been my dream job and although at times it's crappy and the hours are crappy I have loved it with all my heart and I've got to come to terms with saying goodbye.

I have an interview for this week in a completely different field, I have to do a 10 minute presentation on something I know nothing about which means I split my weekend between being upset, drinking and trying to work out the presentation from a very brief, brief!!!

Anyway, it's done now, not a lot else I can do really apart from give it my best shot tomorrow.

Usual stuff from POF, I honestly think it's getting worse, people get in touch, talk a bit and then that's it, what is that all about?

Spoke to Uniform a bit by text through the week, he invited me around after the pub on Friday so I knocked on my way past, as I'd predicted he was asleep so I carried on home.

I had a bit of a weird moment on Saturday, walking (well as much as you can on crutches) through town which is about 12 miles away, I passed my ex, not an ex, the ex, the one, w@nk bag, it hit me harder than I expected, I don't know if it was seeing him or seeing him do something that I never thought I'd do in my lifetime, his father is an elder of the Jehovah's Witnesses and the children were brought up in the faith but all but one left when they were at an age where they could, he was a definite non believer and had a bit of a past, all of things you aren't supposed to do as a witness, drugs, sex before marriage etc, etc and there he was in the street in a suit with a sign 'selling' the faith, it makes me think what a hypocritical religion it is, it would seem you can do what you want but then come back to the faith? It shows why I'm not religious. I've thought about him a bit since, I hate the fact he can still make me do this to me after all this time, even though he was tubbier, he looked quite old and he's gone grey, to be honest he's not aged well! Anyway, we will get over it, maybe it explains why the next paragraph happened and why I needed a little affection!

He was out on Saturday night, with a vodka on the bar as an apology for being asleep! It was a fairly good night, he walked me home and we went back to his as usual, I stayed (for the first time) I think I've decided that we'll be just friends, not once while in bed with him did I think I'd like to rip his clothes off, he is lovely and cuddly though which is really nice when you've just spent the last 18 months being single, he is a fidget and takes up most of the bed though!!!

That was pretty much my weekend gone, it's now back to work and I can honestly tell you I've never been less motivated to do my job in my whole entire life, I honestly hope no one else turns up for the interviews and it's just me!!!

All change!!!

Well Friday came with a phone call from my friend and running buddy, it was a general call  but she dropped in that Uniform had dumped the girlfriend, apparently she wanted more than he did.

In the interest of 'strike while the irons hot' I sent him a 'hello stranger' text and had a reply within minutes, he's meant to be doing my decorating so that was mentioned.

I had plans of going out Friday night, just as I was about to put a foot in the bath the doorbell rings, I have to say that I didn't want to answer it but in my towel and slipper boots I did, yep,  it was him!

Not the best of looks to be honest, he came straight in with a kiss and a hug and we talked decorating, tiling and all of the bits and bobs that need doing, he adores the cats and I love that.

We had a drink and he was here for about an hour, pushing all of my plans back, as we were talking he asked if I fancied looking after the house while he was away 'isn't the girlfriend moving in' I asked, hmmm, all over he says and tells me the story of how he wasn't as interested as he was and that there has only been one person so far that's captivated him and it wasn't her, so that's all over, he also offered to take me for my hospital visit on weds, we'll see if that materialises yet though.

See, sometimes you don't have to go all in, you just have to wait and watch.

We were both up the pub Friday but unusually he left before me and I've had a couple of messages since. I had dinner at a friends  on Saturday with a load of people old enough to go on a saga holiday!

And today, well today I found that my dream job will be coming to an end, I am gutted, seriously depressed and I wonder what I've done to be such a bad person to get all of this bad luck. I will try not to dwell too much but for today at least I'm wallowing!

The weekend was gone in a flash...........

I worked on Saturday which on crutches and not well makes you fairly shattered, I'm not sure if it's the weather but I'm finding more men look better than usual and one's I'd not normally look it, spring has sprung maybe?

The Space Cadet came over to see me on Saturday, he's good company, funny, charismatic, cute and dull as dishwater, I don't think anything has changed, he's still on his phone constantly, so I'm pretty sure there is another phone relationship like we had, I think there are one or two all of the time.

The guy my boss keeps trying to fix me up with was there, he's too short, I'd have to live in flats which I don't think I'm up for.

Hotbike is my new friend on Facebook, it inspired a bit of an eeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkk! He raced this weekend but a crash meant it didn't go particularly well. I don't think I've mentioned the 18 year old yet, he's not 18 anymore, he's 21 now, more about that one later on!

Update........

Friday came and I had four plumbers in the building, we also had a visit from the PCSO after some pikey nicked the old boiler and the copper, cheeky sods.

Uniform came in to collect his keys, saw the state of the place and gave me a cuddle and a 'we'll sort it' I haven't heard from him since (not unusual) the gf is back (I guess!) it's a week on now, my friend was round today and mentioned that he's not been at the pub, although he did park outside mine last night.

I had two more plumbers on Monday, one was quite cute but very young (20's maybe?) we finally have a boiler and can have a bath in my own home, yay!

It's been a strange week, I was due to be working onsite on Wednesday but with a knee that's poorly it's impossible to drive, especially that distance.

Best Friend was going to the track day anyway so I asked if he would drop me at a hotel on Tuesday night and pick me up on Weds morning for work, he said he'd spoken to his friend who said that I could stay there, bear in mind that I have only met him once and it was about 8 years ago on a night out in my home town, Best Friend had three friends and Car Salesman out, including this one who we'll call Engineer, I never looked twice at Engineer but one of the friends was quite nice and we were fairly engrossed in each other all night, the Car Salesman was very jealous and mentioned that I was winding him up (I didn't mean to but winding the Car Salesman up by speaking to other men was never hard)

So I was quite surprised when I arrived at his house and thought he was quite attractive, he's matured well over the years and he's 6'2 which for me is my ideal height in a man, he was very sweet, they carried bags for me, they got me dinner, carried my helmet as it's difficult with crutches.

I went out in the car with Engineer in the morning and it's one of my most fun times in car, the nearest we've come to ending up off of track, on a bad note, I had no makeup, I'm carrying extra weight from not being able to exercise, weeks of morphine has done nothing for my skin and it really could have been better, much better but it wasn't!!! He also lives miles away.

I did say thank you for the loan of the spare room though and I'm hoping to be joining them on a trip later in the year (I've been planning this for years but never made it to be honest, maybe I should try harder!)

On another happy note I got my Superbikes invite this week, can't wait to get back into it, very exciting! :-)