All quiet on the western front.......

Not a lot happening here, I saw Uniform on Sunday for a bit, although I was shattered after a 14 mile charity walk, he told me off as my knee and my toes were swollen and I'm not supposed to be doing so much exercise but it's getting better now.

Loving Tinder but not actually sure I'm really ready to meet anyone yet, I'm off on holiday for a week on Monday so it's not worth me doing anything until after then anyway.

It's been busy here, I've had a ton of interviews and accepted a job to start when I get back, hence dating taking a back seat!

He's back........

Uniform arrived home today, I woke up to a message asking if I could pick him up but I didn't get it until it was too late, then I got a message telling me to pop round and let myself in as he was getting in the shower, he was out of the shower by the time I arrived, a big hug and kiss and catch up and he tried to get me to the pub but I had an appointment so said I'd meet him after, went to the pub for one and then back to his for takeaway and he promptly fell asleep on me on the sofa for a couple of hours before I left and came home.

See that's what I like, the snuggly, cuddly bit! :-)

He smelt divine......... even now I'm home I keep getting a whiff of it...........

I keep hearing from Dodo Hunter, he says getting any kind of commitment from me is like drawing blood, I'm not totally saying I don't agree!

The texts keep coming...........

Uniform has been gone two weeks now, it does feel longer though I have to admit!

Since the text arrived Friday before last I've been receiving daily messages from him, which is nice, the texts have been pretty general with a little bit of flirting thrown in there for good measure, another three weeks until he comes home and two weeks after that I'll be jetting off on holiday myself.

I've had a few people messaging on POF that I've talked to in the past and they've come back after a period of being off of the site, no one I'm particularly excited about though.

I have another two presentations to get ready this week, both for second interviews, lets hope that one of them turns into a job soon, I have just under two weeks to be starting a job before the money runs out, which isn't a place that I want to be in!

That is about it!!

Getting warmer........

Life seems to have twists and turns at every step, after the terrible day that was Wednesday Thurday brought some time with a friend and Friday two more interviews, both minus the firing squad of  the previous two, one I wouldn't want, the other I think I'd enjoy but is a trek to work, something I'm not used to.

This morning brought a message from Uniform, can't say I wasn't pleased, I thought it would be 'out of sight, out of mind' he says it's been raining there, another thing I'm pleased about, anything that helps the not emigrating effort (even if we are to stay just friends!)

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

The rest of the day was spent with my lovely, tall, dark, handsome Space Cadet and his Mum at the Rugby! We had a great day, awesome score, fabulous company and we didn't get wet! His Mum is also lovely.

For anyone that thinks online dating I'd mad, I'd have never met him without it and although he's flakey at times when the chips are down he's always there to make a difference and make my world a little brighter with his prescence.

Bad day!!!!

Oh what a terrible day, I spent all day yesterday preparing a presentation for an interview, it was the worst interview ever, I'm sure I still hadn't done enough or learnt what they wanted me to, companies these days seem to pretty much want someone doing exactly the same job for exactly the same industry and it's annoying, I really think I could bring a lot to the role but I won't get a chance.

My hero of the day is the one and only Space Cadet, I have been feeling rather down and emotional and sent him a message 'I'm in need of some Space Cadet love' immediately got a text back 'Us, Rugby, Saturday' and a phonecall, he still knows how to play it when I'm low, I needed it and I appreciated it, rugby date with him and his Mum!!

Uniform arrived in Oz, it keeps popping up on FB about emigrating!

I am in desperate need of a cuddle :-(

A very messy few days.......

It's not been long since my last post but I thought I'd better bring it up to date as it's been busy.

I finished work on Thursday, it was my last day and he kept me busy until the end, I'd been asked to go to the pub but had decided to stay in, then Uniform arrived and asked if I fancied going around for a drink, it had been a stressful week so I said yes and joined him about an hour later, sofa, wine, movie, more wine.......

I can't remember going to bed, I can't remember anything until about 07:30 when we both woke up in bed........naked, now I don't normally do naked, I'd at least keep pants on, it seems not this time, cuddled up As normal, went and made me tea, farted around like normal, sorted his keys for me to copy, I came home, feeling rather well for two bottles of wine.

I was due to go out shopping with a friend.  (Being my first day off work) so I came home and had a shower, then I started feeling a bit rough, which got worse and worse and worse, the vomiting started, pure wine I must add, I out a piece of toast in the toaster which is where it stayed until Saturday morning, I picked my friend up as planned thinking if I was doing something I'd feel better, I had to stop the car to throw up, twice, all the time wondering if I had anything to be embarrassed about, he knew I was feeling it and took the mick a couple of times, I came straight home and promptly died for the rest of the day!

I went and did the jobs with my friend on Saturday that I should have done on Friday, shopping, lovely lunch, car valeted, his keys etc and then walked up the pub for 'one' got slaughtered, lots of shots, home late, as usual, he came in, had a couple and said he was going home and he'd see me on Monday to take him to the station, he said goodbye to my friend and gave her a hug and I felt a little irritated, I guess I'd have liked a bit more time but it seems I am a bit last minute as per usual.

I knew I wouldn't see him on Sunday as he was at a BBQ, I said I'd help at the pub for a few hours and then my friends band was playing so I stayed to watch them but I only had a couple to drink and was home by half 10.

It was D Day today, I went round to pick him up and I've never seen him look so nervous, he doesn't normally do nerves, I'm keeping an eye on the house for him so as he was stressing I was telling him not to worry about things and that I'd sort them while he was away (changing sheets, binning things etc) eventually I told him to just get in the car and stop stressing, and off we went.

On the way to the station he was telling me how it could be life changing as if he likes it he hopes to be living there in the next year, I actually felt a little upset by that I have to admit, dropped him off, made sure he got his ticket, while the woman there was talking to us like a couple and asking why I wasn't going.........  And then it was time to say goodbye, I was feeling a little emotional and as he was trying to get me to take fuel money I told him I didn't want it and to 'just come here' gave him a hug and kiss and I was gone before a tear or two arrived in my eyes!

Then I text him, explaining that I had a massive memory blank and did I need to know anything! (It seemed a good time as I don't need to face him for five weeks!) he replied with 'no, it was all fine lol' I am still none the wiser as to if anything happened or not, I have a feeling we kissed but I will never know now!

I went for an impromptu dinner with a friend but I'm now sitting feeling rather sad that he's gone,I sometimes wish I was better at being more open and had spoken to him..........

It just keeps getting worse!

A fight today to get the holiday pay I'm owed has ended in me leaving on Thursday, so only three more days of work before redundancy, I'm terribly sad, I love the job and I hate job hunting!

So, yesterday after a weekend of being let down by friends and others refusing to come out to cheer me up I decided to go to the pub on my own!

I text Uniform to ask if he was going up there, he said he was and so were a couple of the other oldies I know so I thought I'd be fairly safe in having someone to talk to.

Then Uniform turned up at the door, to walk up with me (although he offered to drive me up there) he only stayed for a couple though and I did give him grief about leaving early.

The oldies were in so I chatted with them for a while, Knight in Shining Leathers walked in, he's looking better than he was, lost a bit of weight and looks more like himself, we talked for a bit, he mentioned how it's not going so great with the GF and how he doesn't think it will work out long term, for a boy that doesn't talk to anyone we do have some heart to hearts!

We had a new arrival into the blog, although I've known him for quite a while, I don't have a name for him yet but if he keeps appearing I might, he was talking to me about work etc and FB messaged me when I got home saying he'd have stayed out with me if it had not been for his son giving him a lift, he did suggest that I might like to join him but I declined, he's a really nice guy but I get the feeling he's got quite a few miles on his clock which isn't something I really want, we will see if it goes anywhere.

I was talking to a couple of the boys in the pub when Knight in Shining Leathers suggested selling myself to make some money, Uniform came out with the fact that I wouldn't be of much use as I couldn't get down on my knee's!!! Cheeky sods the pair of them!

I am still getting regular messages from Smiler, he even said he'd come over and see me, I've not said yes yet though, I think that might be a bit weird!

Probably not a lot to come this week, Uniform is away for 5 weeks on Monday and in a funny kind of way I'll miss him, say's the girl that didn't want to be with him, sometimes I question myself!!!!

Sometimes life sucks.......

It just gets worse here, currently I feel like I must be one of the unluckiest girls in the world, on Thursday evening at 8:30 PM I was made redundant (if your thinking wasn't it bank holiday weekend then yes, you are correct) what amazing timing? Just in time to ruin my whole weekend, yay!!!!

I spent most of Thursday evening in tears, it's been my dream job and although at times it's crappy and the hours are crappy I have loved it with all my heart and I've got to come to terms with saying goodbye.

I have an interview for this week in a completely different field, I have to do a 10 minute presentation on something I know nothing about which means I split my weekend between being upset, drinking and trying to work out the presentation from a very brief, brief!!!

Anyway, it's done now, not a lot else I can do really apart from give it my best shot tomorrow.

Usual stuff from POF, I honestly think it's getting worse, people get in touch, talk a bit and then that's it, what is that all about?

Spoke to Uniform a bit by text through the week, he invited me around after the pub on Friday so I knocked on my way past, as I'd predicted he was asleep so I carried on home.

I had a bit of a weird moment on Saturday, walking (well as much as you can on crutches) through town which is about 12 miles away, I passed my ex, not an ex, the ex, the one, w@nk bag, it hit me harder than I expected, I don't know if it was seeing him or seeing him do something that I never thought I'd do in my lifetime, his father is an elder of the Jehovah's Witnesses and the children were brought up in the faith but all but one left when they were at an age where they could, he was a definite non believer and had a bit of a past, all of things you aren't supposed to do as a witness, drugs, sex before marriage etc, etc and there he was in the street in a suit with a sign 'selling' the faith, it makes me think what a hypocritical religion it is, it would seem you can do what you want but then come back to the faith? It shows why I'm not religious. I've thought about him a bit since, I hate the fact he can still make me do this to me after all this time, even though he was tubbier, he looked quite old and he's gone grey, to be honest he's not aged well! Anyway, we will get over it, maybe it explains why the next paragraph happened and why I needed a little affection!

He was out on Saturday night, with a vodka on the bar as an apology for being asleep! It was a fairly good night, he walked me home and we went back to his as usual, I stayed (for the first time) I think I've decided that we'll be just friends, not once while in bed with him did I think I'd like to rip his clothes off, he is lovely and cuddly though which is really nice when you've just spent the last 18 months being single, he is a fidget and takes up most of the bed though!!!

That was pretty much my weekend gone, it's now back to work and I can honestly tell you I've never been less motivated to do my job in my whole entire life, I honestly hope no one else turns up for the interviews and it's just me!!!

All change!!!

Well Friday came with a phone call from my friend and running buddy, it was a general call  but she dropped in that Uniform had dumped the girlfriend, apparently she wanted more than he did.

In the interest of 'strike while the irons hot' I sent him a 'hello stranger' text and had a reply within minutes, he's meant to be doing my decorating so that was mentioned.

I had plans of going out Friday night, just as I was about to put a foot in the bath the doorbell rings, I have to say that I didn't want to answer it but in my towel and slipper boots I did, yep,  it was him!

Not the best of looks to be honest, he came straight in with a kiss and a hug and we talked decorating, tiling and all of the bits and bobs that need doing, he adores the cats and I love that.

We had a drink and he was here for about an hour, pushing all of my plans back, as we were talking he asked if I fancied looking after the house while he was away 'isn't the girlfriend moving in' I asked, hmmm, all over he says and tells me the story of how he wasn't as interested as he was and that there has only been one person so far that's captivated him and it wasn't her, so that's all over, he also offered to take me for my hospital visit on weds, we'll see if that materialises yet though.

See, sometimes you don't have to go all in, you just have to wait and watch.

We were both up the pub Friday but unusually he left before me and I've had a couple of messages since. I had dinner at a friends  on Saturday with a load of people old enough to go on a saga holiday!

And today, well today I found that my dream job will be coming to an end, I am gutted, seriously depressed and I wonder what I've done to be such a bad person to get all of this bad luck. I will try not to dwell too much but for today at least I'm wallowing!

Update........

Friday came and I had four plumbers in the building, we also had a visit from the PCSO after some pikey nicked the old boiler and the copper, cheeky sods.

Uniform came in to collect his keys, saw the state of the place and gave me a cuddle and a 'we'll sort it' I haven't heard from him since (not unusual) the gf is back (I guess!) it's a week on now, my friend was round today and mentioned that he's not been at the pub, although he did park outside mine last night.

I had two more plumbers on Monday, one was quite cute but very young (20's maybe?) we finally have a boiler and can have a bath in my own home, yay!

It's been a strange week, I was due to be working onsite on Wednesday but with a knee that's poorly it's impossible to drive, especially that distance.

Best Friend was going to the track day anyway so I asked if he would drop me at a hotel on Tuesday night and pick me up on Weds morning for work, he said he'd spoken to his friend who said that I could stay there, bear in mind that I have only met him once and it was about 8 years ago on a night out in my home town, Best Friend had three friends and Car Salesman out, including this one who we'll call Engineer, I never looked twice at Engineer but one of the friends was quite nice and we were fairly engrossed in each other all night, the Car Salesman was very jealous and mentioned that I was winding him up (I didn't mean to but winding the Car Salesman up by speaking to other men was never hard)

So I was quite surprised when I arrived at his house and thought he was quite attractive, he's matured well over the years and he's 6'2 which for me is my ideal height in a man, he was very sweet, they carried bags for me, they got me dinner, carried my helmet as it's difficult with crutches.

I went out in the car with Engineer in the morning and it's one of my most fun times in car, the nearest we've come to ending up off of track, on a bad note, I had no makeup, I'm carrying extra weight from not being able to exercise, weeks of morphine has done nothing for my skin and it really could have been better, much better but it wasn't!!! He also lives miles away.

I did say thank you for the loan of the spare room though and I'm hoping to be joining them on a trip later in the year (I've been planning this for years but never made it to be honest, maybe I should try harder!)

On another happy note I got my Superbikes invite this week, can't wait to get back into it, very exciting! :-) 

My Messy Little World.........

As I was walking to Uniform's yesterday to have a bath I noticed that the three people I've had 'things' with in the village and Uniform now all live in the same road, Quote Me Happy has moved in there this week, how on earth do I get myself into these things? All in one road, that's just silly!

Anyway Quote Me Happy saw me hobbling to Uniforms and asked what I'd done, ah it's a complicated old life we lead!

Had a lovely bath at Uniforms and told him that the cats and I had moved in, totally unfazed by it, quite annoying really.

I was telling a friend about it all last night, she thinks I should put my cards on the table before it's too late, I guess she's right in that you can't go back but in another way I think if it's meant to be it will be, I don't think I'm going to tell him anything really, I think I'm just going to leave things as they are, if I've cocked up again then that's that but Blue Eyes and I were friends at the start and that was all cocked up, I don't want to do it again, it's a small village when things go wrong and I don't want to lose friends over it.

I am off for another bath tonight though, I'm going to make the most of it while I can! :-)

Quiet Times......

It's been very quiet here, partly because I can't go far due to the knee which is driving me nuts as I can't really do anything!

Still on POF and getting lots of messages but again no one that I really want to pursue further at the moment.

Not heard from Uniform apart from a text message last week (just the one after a 'Happy Birthday') but that's not unusual.

I'm going out with the Space Cadet to the Rugby on Wednesday, he's still around after all of this time, he's coming to collect me as I still can't drive, he's very sweet and I'm looking forward to getting out.

Catching Up.......

All has been pretty quiet on the home front, I've managed to rip the ligaments in my knee which means I can't drive and can't get around which to be honest is a right pain!

I didn't go out for the whole of February, it's a pretty miserable month for me, I broke up with w@nk bag four years ago on V day and although it was one of the best things I ever did he was the only man I have ever actually loved and the weather is miserable, money is tight as winter is quiet in the industry I work in, etc, etc, whinge, moan, whinge!!!

Kept being told that Uniform keeps taking a woman up the pub but no one was sure if it was a GF or just a friend, I saw him out the week before last and it's the new GF.

I had to be fair played totally hard to get as I didn't know if (and still don't if I'm being honest) I liked him as a friend or more, we get on great but is that enough, what if I like him but don't fancy the pants off him?

Anyway back to the story at hand, I saw him on the Friday at the pub, normally he walks me home but I got a lift as I wasn't drinking and left before closing (strange I know!) I went out on my own on Sunday which is unusual but my friend didn't want to go out and I was desperate to, there were people there that I would know so it was fine, Uniform was there and bought me a drink as soon as I walked in and then came and joined us, for someone that has a girlfriend as soon as he spots me he's straight over!

Everyone else left eventually (early) leaving me, him and a few other regulars and My Knight In Shining Leathers was in there too (who incidentally has had a gf for about a year now) we had a chat as usual but were messing around a bit later on and he threw a chalk covered cloth at me, I threw it back, he threw it back and then I grabbed him and went to kick him (playfully not seriously) landed really badly and that's how the knee happened!

Uniform then walked me home (as usual) and I went to his (as usual) for a drink and chinese, we snuggled up on the sofa and watched a film, he did try to get me to stay as I was quite obviously injured and struggling to move but being the stubborn cow I am I came home, which I regretted in the morning as I got into the shower and knew pretty much straight away that I was going to pass out, I managed to get myself out of the shower before passing out on the floor and hitting my neck and head on the way down, I don't think I've ever felt so sorry for myself for living on my own! Anyway long and short is that I'm not driving or walking far for the next few months!

We've had a few messages in the week and then we were both out on Saturday at the pub (me on crutches!) he beelined again as usual and we came home together, he was supposed to be on a fire course on Sun morning but he was quite drunk, he fell asleep on the sofa and I tried to wake him up to go home but he was having none of it, I'm not even sure he would have been capable of walking it to be honest, eventually I told him to go to bed and he went and got in my bed (stark naked) I put PJ's on and also went to bed, he was very cuddly and snuggly as usual which I must say was nice, it's been a long time since anyone's been in my bed!

He made an attempt at trying it on a couple of times but I wasn't going for it, he is a friend and if anything happens I don't want it to be getting laid, it's the line between friends and more and it needs to be one or the other I think.

It took me about two hours to get him up for his training and he was too late but told me he was being picked up at 9, not the 7:30 that he was really so by the time I eventually chucked him out at 8 he was too late, I don't know if we've crossed the line, or if it will be awkward next time we see eachother but I guess that might not be for a while, although nothing happened, ARGH head fuck! He's also off to Afghanistan next month and then Australia the month after, so I guess it's not the end of the world, it's pretty typical of me, can never make my mind up about men.

Oh, on another note, Psycho, Knight In Shining Armour, Uniform and Quote Me Happy now all live in the same street, whoops!

Looby has just called, she said she's glad that she didn't fix me up with BIL as they've had a massive fall out........... people!