My Messy Little World.........

As I was walking to Uniform's yesterday to have a bath I noticed that the three people I've had 'things' with in the village and Uniform now all live in the same road, Quote Me Happy has moved in there this week, how on earth do I get myself into these things? All in one road, that's just silly!

Anyway Quote Me Happy saw me hobbling to Uniforms and asked what I'd done, ah it's a complicated old life we lead!

Had a lovely bath at Uniforms and told him that the cats and I had moved in, totally unfazed by it, quite annoying really.

I was telling a friend about it all last night, she thinks I should put my cards on the table before it's too late, I guess she's right in that you can't go back but in another way I think if it's meant to be it will be, I don't think I'm going to tell him anything really, I think I'm just going to leave things as they are, if I've cocked up again then that's that but Blue Eyes and I were friends at the start and that was all cocked up, I don't want to do it again, it's a small village when things go wrong and I don't want to lose friends over it.

I am off for another bath tonight though, I'm going to make the most of it while I can! :-)

Catching Up.......

All has been pretty quiet on the home front, I've managed to rip the ligaments in my knee which means I can't drive and can't get around which to be honest is a right pain!

I didn't go out for the whole of February, it's a pretty miserable month for me, I broke up with w@nk bag four years ago on V day and although it was one of the best things I ever did he was the only man I have ever actually loved and the weather is miserable, money is tight as winter is quiet in the industry I work in, etc, etc, whinge, moan, whinge!!!

Kept being told that Uniform keeps taking a woman up the pub but no one was sure if it was a GF or just a friend, I saw him out the week before last and it's the new GF.

I had to be fair played totally hard to get as I didn't know if (and still don't if I'm being honest) I liked him as a friend or more, we get on great but is that enough, what if I like him but don't fancy the pants off him?

Anyway back to the story at hand, I saw him on the Friday at the pub, normally he walks me home but I got a lift as I wasn't drinking and left before closing (strange I know!) I went out on my own on Sunday which is unusual but my friend didn't want to go out and I was desperate to, there were people there that I would know so it was fine, Uniform was there and bought me a drink as soon as I walked in and then came and joined us, for someone that has a girlfriend as soon as he spots me he's straight over!

Everyone else left eventually (early) leaving me, him and a few other regulars and My Knight In Shining Leathers was in there too (who incidentally has had a gf for about a year now) we had a chat as usual but were messing around a bit later on and he threw a chalk covered cloth at me, I threw it back, he threw it back and then I grabbed him and went to kick him (playfully not seriously) landed really badly and that's how the knee happened!

Uniform then walked me home (as usual) and I went to his (as usual) for a drink and chinese, we snuggled up on the sofa and watched a film, he did try to get me to stay as I was quite obviously injured and struggling to move but being the stubborn cow I am I came home, which I regretted in the morning as I got into the shower and knew pretty much straight away that I was going to pass out, I managed to get myself out of the shower before passing out on the floor and hitting my neck and head on the way down, I don't think I've ever felt so sorry for myself for living on my own! Anyway long and short is that I'm not driving or walking far for the next few months!

We've had a few messages in the week and then we were both out on Saturday at the pub (me on crutches!) he beelined again as usual and we came home together, he was supposed to be on a fire course on Sun morning but he was quite drunk, he fell asleep on the sofa and I tried to wake him up to go home but he was having none of it, I'm not even sure he would have been capable of walking it to be honest, eventually I told him to go to bed and he went and got in my bed (stark naked) I put PJ's on and also went to bed, he was very cuddly and snuggly as usual which I must say was nice, it's been a long time since anyone's been in my bed!

He made an attempt at trying it on a couple of times but I wasn't going for it, he is a friend and if anything happens I don't want it to be getting laid, it's the line between friends and more and it needs to be one or the other I think.

It took me about two hours to get him up for his training and he was too late but told me he was being picked up at 9, not the 7:30 that he was really so by the time I eventually chucked him out at 8 he was too late, I don't know if we've crossed the line, or if it will be awkward next time we see eachother but I guess that might not be for a while, although nothing happened, ARGH head fuck! He's also off to Afghanistan next month and then Australia the month after, so I guess it's not the end of the world, it's pretty typical of me, can never make my mind up about men.

Oh, on another note, Psycho, Knight In Shining Armour, Uniform and Quote Me Happy now all live in the same street, whoops!

Looby has just called, she said she's glad that she didn't fix me up with BIL as they've had a massive fall out........... people!

The Weekend

Well it was a long weekend with much alcohol involved, it started on Friday with a band, followed by presentation night and a band on Saturday and oh another band and silly games on Sunday.

The Space Cadet asked again on Friday if I was going to his housewarming on Sunday but I said no, he's still in daily contact (quite scarily he's just text as I type this!) it's a bit like having a boyfriend without the good or bad bits of having a boyfriend!

Quote Me Happy was out all three nights, I didn't really get to talk to him on Friday as everytime we were near someone was talking to the other one, I spoke to him on Saturday and told him that I'd thought about texting to see if he fancied a drink out of the village and he asked why I hadn't, I said he hadn't either and he responded by saying he'd not thought of it but that yes he'd like it and where did I fancy.

His ex was there and proceeded to give me daggers, following my last night with him she'd asked me around a few times to help her with a few things that she was unsure about so I'd gone and we'd got talking, I'd felt awkward about it at the time but not as awkward as I felt that night, she and her mum were giving me evils while  talking to him and I think I managed to bring out the green eyed monster as she apparantly ended up going home with him, I don't know if she knows about what happens but I suspect she does, she's asked me over with some other friends on Saturday but I think I'll decline now!

I was going to text him following Saturday but after that I don't think I'll bother, nice as he may seem.

Mr Awesomeness has just moved and has been in daily touch and Musicman is also in touch on a daily basis and has asked me over for a drink, must get onto that really.

Do you regret what you do? Or regret what you've not done?

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately if I'm honest is whether I should regret what I have done or risk regretting what I haven't? I think sometimes I'm held back from doing things because of what people might think.

For example Quote Me Happy, now I've been thinking about asking if he fancies a drink away from the village, dinner was talked about earlier in the year but as part of bet that we couldn't agree who'd won (I did but he says he did!) the bet was whoever lost paid for dinner, he said that he didn't lose but would happily buy me dinner, I turned this down on the basis that I had won and wasn't going to accept that he had!

I got his quote in the week, it's by no means cheap but around the price I was told by someone else a while ago, so I need to think about that one as it's still a fair amount of money.

Anyway back to the story, I've been debating this for some time (well since he stayed here to be honest) but what if he says no? It's a smallish village so I would inevitably bump into him which could be embarassing, also if he was interested would he have not done it? I hear these things are changing, are they really? Is this supposed to be my job too now?

So do I ask and regret when he says no or regret not asking and never know? Hmmmmm, ponder, ponder, ponder!!

The Salesman is still in touch, as is Art Boy and I've been asked out several times on POF this week, will I go? Who know's eh?!

The Space Cadet continues to be in touch daily, what else would we expect eh? It isn't as much as it was originally, we are however going to see the Superbikes together in july which I'm really looking forward too, I also get to see one of the riders that I'm dying to see! He's asked why I'm not going to his flat warming and suggested I stay there for the night but I don't think it's a good idea (although maybe I should go and cop off with a couple of his cricket mates?! That'll learn him! lol!)

I got taken out to lunch today by someone who doesn't appear here yet, I must write him a blog entry, it was a nice lunch, he's married and for that reason alone i'm not interested but there are many more too if I'm honest, the lunch was just as friends and it was very pleasant.

I have been accused of being too friendly with yet another of the village men that has an other half, my friend was telling me about it today, all the poor bloke did was put his arm around me at the jukebox and his other half and I are quite friendly but it turns out that the other half also has a crush on Quote Me Happy which I find odd as she's been the one that keeps trying to fix us up, nowt as queer as folk I think is the relevant saying!

My friend was telling me how she tried to explain that about 95% of the men in the village wouldn't meet my expectations anyway and that this would mean that they wouldn't stand a chance, this again got me thinking, maybe I am too picky? I wouldn't even look at someone that wasn't at least 5'10 but actually I prefer 6' or above, I do like the lookers (I don't know how my ex happened I really don't!) I wouldn't date a smoker again and to be fair I could go on with this list for many blogs and years to come, should I lower my expectations in order to find someone?

I have also been thinking today that I am not sure I'd be ready to change my life to have someone in it, I still want to go out and get drunk with my friends at a moments notice and have no one moaning about it, if I want to spend the day in bed no one cares, if I want to go out for the day I have no one to answer to and I like that, saying that I spent the night in tonight and would have quite liked to have spent it cuddled up to someone on the sofa, maybe I just need to hire an escort for nights in?! Hmmmmm, lots to think on.......

The Weekend

Well it's been a bit quiet to be honest, I've got a rather nasty chest infection and it's making me feel pretty dire and to be fair I look like I've not slept for weeks (and to be honest I haven't really!) I finally gave in and went to the Dr's on Friday when I decided that it felt too bad to be the cold I thought it was, a dose of antibiotics and a note for a week off work which my boss is less than impressed about and that sealed that one.

I managed to get out in the sun for a bit on Friday which was nice, through the coughs and barking! The weekend was a bit quiet really, not a lot to report, the dating sites are still pumping e-mails through at an alarming rate. Have been asked on another date by one again today, don't know where they are all coming from.

Quote Me Happy popped in on Thursday to measure up for this job, I haven't got the quote yet, I think we are both a bit more shy when alcohol hasn't played a part! I also saw him out yesterday but not really to speak to, met a couple of new people in the village and played a rather interesting game of girls V boys pool, apparantly boys aren't that good at pool with two women doing all they can to distract them, we won - obviously!

The messages came again from The Salesman, who has now added me on Facebook and then text me to tell me he'd been looking through my photo's and that I looked great and still had my 'lush smile' which I thought was rather sweet, he still wants to meet up, I'm still not sure! He sent me a photo through and he still looks a lot like he used to but at the end of the day he still slept with my friend, even though that was a long time a go, I don't think i'm the sort of girl to forgive and forget!

Art Boy also text today and a couple of times over the last week, not sure on that one, the messages seem to turn a bit dirty fairly quickly and I'm not really into that if I'm honest so I'm not convinced it's going anywhere.

We couldn't have an update without a mention of the Space Cadet could we? He is still getting in contact every day but I am taking longer and longer to respond and he seems to be catching onto this now, which is probably a good thing, contact is definately decreasing, I did find it a bit odd last week when I got an invite to the housewarming and Beer Fest for his new flatmate, I really did find this odd, he really is an odd one that boy, funny isn't it, months of e-mails and texting, many non-dates and I still don't understand the bloody boy!

Quote Me Happy! ;-)

Wow, it's been a busy few days and not really what I was planning at all, I was going out Sunday evening for a few drinks and to watch a band outside in the garden at my local, I went up in shorts and a strappy top, no makeup and my hair had dried naturally which generally means it's somewhere between curly and straight and rather unruly, also I wasn't wearing matching underwear - something that you'll see the importance of later!

After about an hour the weather had turned quite cold so one of the guys brought me home to change, a quick change into jeans, top and a cardi and I was back out, anyway the afternoon passed in the normal raucous fashion, including rugby tackling the manager of our football team when she tried to take my phone off of me to stop me texting the Space Cadet!

Anywhere a fair bit of alcohol and shots had gone down and 6 of us decided to go to the pub for a few, we carried on in the pub and bumped into my knight in shining leathers, spoke to him briefly and hijacked his juke box session, we then went to the indian, we sat down and Quote Me Happy walked in, he's the carpenter that is supposed to be giving me a quote for a job I want done, a couple of people I was with gave him a bit of grief about the lack of quote and he came and joined us for dinner, sitting next to me.

We ate dinner and joked around, I asked if I wanted an S and M dungeon would it make getting my quote any quicker, he said it would and I said that's what it was then (When I first spoke to him about the quote he asked if I really wanted a dungeon and was just trying to cover it up)

One of the people I was out with had already decided earlier in the yeat that we would be good together and had pointed this out on a Saturday evening, she decided it was time to do this again and proceeded to tell him this, when it was time to leave I was keen to avoid Photofetish who quite frankly gets right on my nerves, he'd been out with us on Friday and you just can't escape him and his utter bullshit (which I did point out a few times!) so my half of the table waited until he and a couple of others had gone with the intention of coming back here for some more shots and drinks.

I left the Indian with my friends that are a couple and Quote Me Happy, who went to walk back to his, Karen (who has it in her head that we should get to know eachother better) however was having none of this and summoned him back to mine, which after a little protest about work in the morning he did.

The couple didn't stay for too long (should I have been surprised at this?!) He however didn't make an attempt to leave when they did and we carried on talking, it was obviously going in the direction of something happening, we were however both knackered (he had also been out early afternoon but I'd not seen him to speak to, he'd obviously seen me as he mentioned the quick change I'd done!)

He had been sat stroking my leg with his hand up my jean leg and then asked me over for a cuddle, well he's 6'6 so that's not the easiest thing in the world to do, I suggested if he wanted to sleep he came to bed and promised that I wouldn't pounce on him, he said he liked the sound of the first one but wasn't so keen on the second!

He was well behaved and by the time I'd been in the bathroom, he was in bed - with his jeans on, he asked if he was allowed to go down to boxers which i said was fine.

Well the nothing happening lasted all of five minutes and to be honest it was all lovely, he was lovely and cuddly and it was a great night and morning! I didn't even mind being woken by his very early alarm for work - well I can think of worse things to be woken up to! :-) I did ask if my quote had moved up the list and was told that indeed it had!

We exchanged a couple of messages during the day, mainly about the fact that I'd found money in the bed from where he'd taken his jeans off and that he would sort my quote for me, we will see if it stays as a one off, either way a very good evening was had, not much sleep but a huge grin on my face which was much needed for what comes next............

Monday was Space Cadet film evening and to be honest after no sleep, a little bit of a hangover and the facebook incident on Saturday I wasn't looking forward to it, I very much wanted to not go but as he'd booked the tickets I thought I had better, he knew I'd had a bit of an evening (but obviously not about Quote Me Happy) and that the last of the people that had come back here had left at about 7 (this fact is also perfectly true!)

He'd text me in the day asking if I fancied going over about 5 and going for dinner and then the cinema was booked for 9, I said that was fine but did pull his leg a bit about that being his definition of a date, I don't think after the last few weeks he always know's how to take me to be honest! I had a discussion with my friend about whether to make an effort or just to go as I was and it was decided that making an effort was the way to go, at least show him what he's missing!

So hair done, full make up, and clothes that looked nice but you could get away with both for dinner and cinema without looking like i'd make too much effort and away I went, we had dinner out, conversation as ever flowed and the film was as expected awesome, we had another nice evening which ended with the normal kiss goodbye, as ever I had a text by the time I got home and have had more today.

All I can say is that I'm very glad one of them at least still wants to get in my knickers (even when they don't match, which they always have for him!) because to be honest I was starting to wonder exactly what's wrong with me, a man invites me for a bottle of wine and then sleeps in the spare room while I sleep in his bed and have to listen to his neighbours sh*gging, what the fuck?!

Thank you Quote Me Happy for making me think maybe I'm not a complete freak!