The Cat Breeder, the Vet and finding out I work with his Mum………….

In December last year I matched with a guy on Bumble, quite nice looking with some nice photos and it was pretty obvious from the baby lambs in them that he worked with animals.

Now if I could pick an occupation for my perfect man a vet would be way up that list, being an animal lover someone that likes animals is important and with cat breeding having a vet to hold my hand through birthing would be amazing! (The list would also have most uniformed professions. I quite like the idea of the forces as I could get rid of them for months at a time and most men look better in uniform – although I have seen times when this rule doesn’t work)

We chatted for a bit, did the whole what do you do etc and he was indeed a vet, working about an hour away from me, at the time I had a quite pregnant, very precious, pedigree cat and was fairly concerned so that was mentioned, he was working for a small and large animal practice at the time but large animals are essentially what he is passionate about.

We soon discovered that we were looking for different things, he was not long out of a relationship and just looking for ‘fun’ and I have no interest in that at all, he said that he’d like to keep in touch and should I ever change my mind to let him know, I assured him that I didn’t see that happening.

Over the next few days, he was very sweet, I was watching my girl all the time and was getting very little sleep, if anyone can empathise with that feeling it’s a vet, we had a discussion about how things were with her and he agreed that we could well be looking at a C-Section which was already where I was with my thinking, he’d given me his number by this point but I’d not used it.

A couple of days later the kittens were born, by C-Section, things were still a little fraught with a Mum that didn’t have a clue what to do with these little shouty things that had appeared next to her when she woke up and I was shattered, I also knew that I was going to have to feed these little one’s two hourly until her milk came in. I sent him a message saying thanks for listening with a photo of the newborns and he messaged back asking how they were doing and saying he hoped I was feeling less stressed (I wasn’t!)

I have to say it was nice to have someone level headed to talk to when everything is looking so shit, it was a really tough time kitten wise, Mum wasn’t settling with them at all, she’d only stay with them if I was with her, even then she’d rather be cuddled up with me, I was feeding every two hours day and night and I was exhausted and upset, to the point that I was looking to see if anyone had a surrogate when I had an idea and called my vet, asking him for a specific injection for her, he wasn’t convinced but I was at the end of my rope and was literally willing to try anything. That day I was in such a state that my vet hugged me as I walked in, I literally was the great unwashed, I couldn’t tell you how long is was since I washed my hair as I’d not had time between feed’s (you’ll be pleased to know I’d managed a couple of showers though!)

It worked, within six hours of having the jab she was settling with her little ones, feeding them with just a bit of help from me and became the Mum I knew she could be, which took the pressure off of me a bit, in the week that had elapsed I’d had an awful morning where I had to revive two of them and I was a completely frazzled zombie, I had friends telling me that even human babies don’t need that much looking after! Once my girl was feeling better the babies followed and started putting on weight, apart from the little boy that was a struggle, he was putting on but not as much as the others, so I continued to feed him as well as him feeding from his Mum.

You bond much more with babies that you are hand rearing, it’s hard not to, just thinking of him now makes me well up. He was full of fight, hated feeding from his Mum but fed really well from the sponge that I fed him from, eventually in the early hours of boxing day I lost him, after a vet visit and an X-Ray and some drugs, it’s hard to treat a baby that is so tiny, it was awful and it’s those times when being on your own really sucks, there are very few friends you can call sobbing at 3am when they are miles away and there is nothing you or they can do about it.

I struggled with it, you always think that you’ve not done enough when you lose one and I was terrified I’d lose more, I became totally OCD and weighed them much more than ever possibly needed, probably worrying myself more, I knew that weighing once a day was the sensible solution and slowly as they continued to grow and thrive I managed to get a grip of reality again.

It was literally a month before I left the flat for anything that wasn’t a vet visit, I’d seen no one, I think I’d have felt incredibly lonely if only I had, had time to think about anything.

If you aren’t an animal lover you’ll think I’m mad and I’m ok with that, if you are you’ll have an idea of how I felt! By the time they had reached a month old I had been in the office for one half day meeting, thankfully my boss is an animal lover and I bend over backwards to be flexible, often working when I’m on holiday so he was really understanding of my answering emails at 4am for a few weeks and working from home for that period. That was the only time I’d left flat for anything that wasn’t a vet visit, I’d seen no one, I think I’d have felt incredibly lonely if only I had, had time to think about anything.

During this time the Vet had checked in regularly with ‘This is your regular vet check-up, how are the kittens?’ which I have to say I thought was massively sweet and just what I needed, he always asked how the kittens were and how I was. He said a couple of times that it was a shame that we wanted different things as he thought we’d really get on and have a lot of fun together, to be honest I didn’t disagree but we did want different things.

Facebook did its thing and at some point in January threw the Vet up as a friend suggestion, I obviously didn’t add him but I couldn’t help but notice his surname which was not only fairly unusual but the same as someone I work with.

The lady I work with is probably in her fifties, she worked for us as a Business Development Director and at some point of her time here she’s worked directly for my boss, although mainly she’s worked for our team, however she used my office fairly regularly. She’s lovely and we’ve always got on well, she breeds Race Horses, lives on a Sheep Farm with her husband and is very lady of the manor.

Hmmmm, thought I…. it’s can’t be………..can it?

Now, it wouldn’t be obvious that they were related, based in different area’s and it wouldn’t be obvious that she and I worked for the same company, her home base is two hours from my office and he’s an hour away but the name is a bit like mine, you’d have to wonder.

I mentioned it to him and he kind of shrugged it off but in a manner that almost seemed a bit shifty, however it didn’t stop him doing his regular check in’s on me and the kittens and a bit of flirting.

A couple of weeks later she was in the office and we were chatting, I HAD to know, she was saying that she had a Grandchild on the way from one of her son’s, so we talked about that, I asked her what her other children did, she had two sons and a daughter.

‘……….. is a vet, currently working in……………………. in a mixed practice but he’s just got a new job working with large animals which is what he wants to do’

BOOM! The Vet is her son, or she happens to have a son with the same name, same job and that has told me exactly that same thing in the last couple of weeks…… unlikely hey?!

Soooooo I mentioned  him about it when he next got in touch, he asked who I worked for and then said that he hadn’t wanted me to feel awkward when she was in and that she disapproves of dating sites (which I could imagine if I’m honest) he asked me not to mention it, which of course I would never do.

Fast forward 11 months and the Vet still gets in touch, probably around once a month, he’s always quite sweet, usually asks if I’ve changed my mind (I haven’t) I thought about him last week as his Mum was put on garden leave before she exits the business and I missed saying goodbye as I was in meetings but it was a passing thought.

He missed his October check in (I didn’t know this until I checked the messages for this post) and saw that we’ve not spoken since September and then yesterday a ‘Good evening how are you’ popped up on my phone, it was him again, what timing eh?

It’s funny how these people pop up isn’t it? I’m pretty sure my mind won’t change, as good idea as a Friend With Benefits sounds (because to be fair it’s been a LONG time) I’d be worried that we’d have no chemistry and I couldn’t sleep with someone I had nothing there with, on top of that I’d worry that feelings would become involved for one of us.

I dated someone about two years ago, he said a few dates in that he didn’t want anything serious which I was ok with, however once that was said any feelings I may have developed were switched off, a few more dates down the line he changed his mind and wanted more but I wasn’t there because he said he wanted nothing serious I’d made sure my feelings hadn’t developed, I then had to call it a day because we were in different places so I’ve seen it go wrong, in fact years before that with Blue Eyes, I told him straight off I wasn’t ready for anything serious, he got his feelings all involved and then I had to call it a day as we were in different places again, so casual doesn’t really work for me as it never ends like that.

I think he probably hopes that at some point my mind will change which is probably why he keeps popping up, I don’t think mine will but he does seem genuinely quite nice and one thing I do like about him is that he’s been as upfront as I have about what he wants and I’ve got a lot more respect for someone that is upfront than someone that lies to get what they want, I’m not sure they’ll ever be any more to this story unless one of us changes our minds………..meeting the parents could be a bit awkward eh?!

My Messy Little World.........

As I was walking to Uniform's yesterday to have a bath I noticed that the three people I've had 'things' with in the village and Uniform now all live in the same road, Quote Me Happy has moved in there this week, how on earth do I get myself into these things? All in one road, that's just silly!

Anyway Quote Me Happy saw me hobbling to Uniforms and asked what I'd done, ah it's a complicated old life we lead!

Had a lovely bath at Uniforms and told him that the cats and I had moved in, totally unfazed by it, quite annoying really.

I was telling a friend about it all last night, she thinks I should put my cards on the table before it's too late, I guess she's right in that you can't go back but in another way I think if it's meant to be it will be, I don't think I'm going to tell him anything really, I think I'm just going to leave things as they are, if I've cocked up again then that's that but Blue Eyes and I were friends at the start and that was all cocked up, I don't want to do it again, it's a small village when things go wrong and I don't want to lose friends over it.

I am off for another bath tonight though, I'm going to make the most of it while I can! :-)

More messy nights......

I've been a little slack on my updates, Blue eyes is still appearing, he's stayed here at least once every weekend since the first time he stayed here, I've still not really got a clue what's going on, he's nice to spend time with, I went out with him on Friday but wasn't drinking as I had work early on Saturday morning, so I left early and came home alone for once!

I worked Sat and then went out to meet everyone once I'd finally got home, after an 18 hour day I wasn't feeling particularly up for it but managed to stay out until closing, accompanied home by Blue Eye's, I made him tea and toast again (shocking I know!) and we spent a few hours in the afternoon cuddled up on the sofa, which I've got to say was really nice, we're still in the can't keep our hands off each other which is quite cool, even sitting on the sofa he'll sit holding my hand etc, something I'm really not used to, we eventually had to move as we'd promised we'd go out for Messy Sunday, however the whole of the normal Messy Sunday Squad lamed out quite early so we unusually left before closing and came back here.

He commented when we were in bed that he would have quite happily spent the afternoon here rather than going out and how nice it had been, I joked that when I was on Christmas Shutdown I'd be getting him over every night and making sure he didn't get any sleep, he said I was horrible and I commented that all he had to do was say no, he said he thought being able to say no to me was very unlikely!

Have heard from him everyday I think but I don't think I'll see him this weekend as he's out of the village on Friday and I'm working on Sunday which means I can't go out on Saturday and it's unlikely that I'll be back in time for Messy Sunday (I know, can't say I'm too pleased about that bit to be honest!)

I went out for dinner with the Best Friend last night, curry club as usual but I also went to see his rather lovely new house, we had some deep and meaning full's which we normally try to avoid, he's a bit bored with the girlfriend again but he thinks he'd get bored with anyone so isn't really looking into it too much, he asked what was going on with me and had the shortened version of the Blue Eye's story, it seems he thinks it can't go on being fun forever and that the time will come when we'll have to work out whether to call it a day or it become more than it is but the question is, is this really necessary? Can't it just carry on until it's not fun anymore and then that be it and us go back to just being friends? And if not why?

Should we stay with someone that bores us because that's normal and it's what everyone else does? Can you really not have it all?

I want it all and I honestly think I'd rather stay single until I get it but Best Friend say's it's impossible and we can't have it all, what happened to change him? Is he going to end up settling in front of my eyes?

Blue Eyes Update

I've not seen him but heard from him a couple of times this week, he's also apologised a few times this week about keeping me up and waking me up on Monday!

I had a really long day at work, starting by having to get up at 3 AM and getting home about 8 PM, I'd responded in the morning to a text he'd sent the night before and added that my Sat Nav had broken on the way and that it was a miracle I'd actually got there, I got a message from him on my way home saying 'Hi, how was the long day of work? Because you said your sad nav had packed up I've been a little worried. Didn't know if you would be able to find your way home' I have to say the message definitely got an awww out of me! It made my day!

Well Evil Twin today asked if he'd been invited out at the weekend and I'd said no, so I got talked into inviting him and he's coming out tomorrow, I still don't know where the ground lies with this one to be honest, I guess time will tell eh?

See if we can stop behaving like a pair of teenagers?!

Messy Sunday........

Well Messy Sunday was indeed errr messy! I got there and Blue Eyes, Evil Twin and Mr Modest were already there as usual as they play poker in the afternoon, Evil Twin text me this morning asking for the goss and commented that 'you wouldn't have got a piece of paper between you two last night' I didn't think we'd been that obvious but apparently I was wrong! I did notice at a couple of points he had his hand on my knee but I don't think he even realised it!

He'd told me he was going home early but we left at closing as ever and he walked me home which is becoming a bit of a habit, he commented as we left that he was going home to his and I was going home to mine, which I was fine with, when we got near his he said he'd walk me around to mine, I said I'd be fine as I always have been in the past but he insisted, he hovered saying he was going as he had to get up for work but came in anyway!

He also stayed (again!) and I somehow agreed to set my alarm for 5.30 for him, he had to be at work at 8.00 but still didn't leave until 7.30, total nightmare to get out of bed but to be fair I don't think I helped much!

He is sooo sweet, undeniable chemistry between us but I still had cold feet this morning, after being hurt I'm not really sure I'm ready to have a man in my life, although I'm not sure that's really what it is, maybe it's just a bit of friends with a bonus?

I've quite liked being single, been having a great time although at times it would be nice to have someone in my life, I keep going back to 'he's not really my type' but when's that helped me in the past?!

A Messy Evening.....

Hadn't heard from Blue Eyes all week, which to be honest I'd not expected too (he had my number to get me a printing quote but had said his boss would ring me) as I was getting ready to go out last night there was a missed call on my mobile (I'm terrible with it, the service where I live is bad and it's on silent most of the time, I rarely do phone calls on it and just really use it for texting) but when I clicked on the number  I'd had three missed call's from it, one on Wednesday and two yesterday, I rang it purely because there had been three calls and Blue Eye's answered, he said he'd called about a couple of things, firstly to apologise for being 'shamefully drunk' on Sunday, I told him he had nothing to apologise for and that we'd all been in the same state and he also had the quote for me.

I have to admit I was concerned by the 'shamefully drunk' it kind of said to me that he regretted Sunday.

I asked him if he was coming out (it had kind of been arranged last Sunday and Evil Twin was due to be knocking for him) he said probably and we left it there.

Evil Twin arrived and said she'd knocked for him but he'd not answered so she rang him and he'd not heard her, so he came over too and we had a couple here before going out.

I brought the 'shamefully drunk' comment up with him when we were out and he said I'd got the wrong end of the stick, that he'd been concerned that he'd said or done something to offend me, especially as I'd ignored his calls,  I pointed out that as I didn't have his number I didn't know it was him and we talked about the fact that neither of us wanted it to be awkward.

Much drinking took place, much flirting went along with it, he ended back at mine and spent the night here, he did remark at one point that we were acting like 'lovestruck teenagers' which I thought was fairly funny! He's a hell of a kisser, I even made him coffee and breakfast this morning which is almost unheard of. 

I was feeling rotten this morning (all day in fact!) which he found rather funny, he eventually left around 11 as he had family coming over, I was ready to die quietly by this time anyway.

He text about 7 to tell me that he has a love bite and all of his mates are laughing at him and to ask how my head is, so we've had a couple of texts between us.

We should all be out again tomorrow for messy Sunday, I think I'll be getting grief tomorrow for the love bite from everyone and the spanish inquisition from Mr Modest (as Blue Eyes had last night about Sunday!) 

The Knight in Shining leathers was out, nice to see him as always and have a catch up.

A very funny and good night in all, even if I can't remember getting home or going to bed, we only worked out this morning we'd carried on drinking before bed when we found glasses and shot glasses in the kitchen this morning.

We had lots of conversations about the fact that it had taken him three days to phone me, he said he'd thought about it before but had been really busy and then thought I was ignoring him, a little bit of crossed wires I think!

Will anything come to it? Who know's, I would though like to keep him as a friend at least.

Busy Times!

Well it's been busy but not really in the dating field! I took a huge leap on the job front and went for something that came with massive opportunity but also massive responsibility and a big change, the job is similarish to before but the industry is entirely different to anything I've ever done but a bit of a dream for a petrol head like me!

The dating fronts been quiet, I've really not done anything to push it and you can probably see from my last post, I keep getting messages from Artboy and Intel but I really don't think I want to go down either of those avenues, Car Salesman has fallen off the planet and the Space Cadet is, as ever in daily contact!

I don't want to tempt fate but I did, however meet someone a few weeks ago, he's not from a dating site, he lives in the village but isn't from the village and was introduced to me by a friend, the thing is, when we go to Messy Sunday we always read our star signs in the Sunday magazine (we were born on the same day!) it said that a friend was going to introduce you to someone significant, we joked about it, she said she didn't know anyone decent enough (fairly normal in the village!)

A little while later her and one of the boys that is a Messy Sunday regular with us, introduced me to one of the guys they play Poker with, nice but not really my type and neither me or the Evil Twin were either drinking or out for long (I know very unusual and I'll make sure it doesn't happen too often!) We played a couple of games of skittles and then went home.

The next time I saw him was at a charity night a week or so ago, we were talking and he was saying he'd just moved, it turns out he's literally opposite my place! Now Evil Twin normally walks me part of the way home but decided that he was responsible enough for the job, so he walked me up but I left him at the corner of his and said goodnight.

We were all out again on Sunday and Evil Twin and Mr Modest (ha, hardly!) lamed out about 10 and went home but I was determined that being my first Messy Sunday for ages there was no way I was leaving before closing, so he (I think we'll go for Blue Eyes for him for now) stayed out with me and we continued drinking and talking, as we walked home we were having a discussion about why we were both single and I was telling him how I didn't want to settle for second best or spend my life with someone but not being really happy, he said it was the same for him.

When we got to the corner where his is he said he couldn't work out where I lived (which is easy done from where he is to be fair) so I showed him and he came in and we continued drinking and talking, until that was that he kissed me, which pretty much continued for the rest of the evening, well until about 7 AM to be honest when I decided it was time for him to go home so that I could at least try to get a couple of hours sleep in before starting work at 10! He said he was going to phone in sick which I thought was a little lame!

It was a really nice night, he's a pretty good kisser and the only reason I put it off going any further was that I actually do like him and I'd hate to make the whole friend thing become awkward if it goes wrong or only turned out to be a one nighter it could make the Messy Sunday Awesome Foursome all a bit awkward!

Talking to Evil Twin last night, she was really happy about it, she can't help but sing his praises, whether for one or both of us it was just the drink talking I don't know but I had a HUGE smile on my face all day Monday and a fair bit of the old Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkk, for anyone that know's the Space Cadet story when I feel Eeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkky it normally leads to disappointment because it never works out. Evil Twin said I looked like the cat that had got the cream last night, so now it's time to get ready to come back down to earth and I'm very much hoping it's not awkward at the weekend! :-(

For the 'records' he's about 6' tall, dark, curly hair, very lovely Blue Eyes (hence the name!) and is really not my type at all.............., oh and he's also a smoker which is on my never again list!