So much to catch up on............

I've been meaning to catch up on here for about a week now, so there is a lot to put in here.

On Sunday last week I went out with the intention of having a couple of drinks in the sun, the weather was great as was the atmosphere and the drinks flowed, meaning that a couple of drinks didn't really happen and turned into a lot of drinks!

I decided it was time to tell the Space Cadet that I needed a bit of a break from texting etc, my head just can't cope with it, we were due a cinema visit to see a film that we both want to see, so I said after that I wanted a bit of a break as I don't want to get involved in somethng that's not happening, he said basically that he finds it hard to free up time for someone with work etc, etc and I said that I think if you wanted to you would, he responded saying that he can't wriggle out of work and summer Saturdays are taken up with Cricket when he's not working and maybe we should give it a shot as friends.

I said I was fine with that as long as I know where I stand but in fact I don't think I am, I don't really want to be his friend and didn't go on a dating site to make friends, also I wish I was more sober at the time to be able to ask why you would be on a dating site if you didn't have time for dating, maybe drinking didn't help on this occasion.

The texting has dropped off a little but is still happening everyday, today I am rather annoyed with him, after seeing his facebook last night but also annoyed with myself because I have no right to be annoyed with him, he has text me this morning but I've not yet replied and I'm not sure that I should at the moment, I'm well known for not being able to hold my tongue but I'm trying really hard to, I really don't want to bite his head off, however I'm going out shortly, will I be able to keep it in once I've been drinking?!

We are supposedly going to the cinema tomorrow, I still half expect it to be cancelled but apparantly he has booked the tickets, I cancelled a date with Video Boy (I'll have to go into that one later) to go with him, that I am currently regretting as at the moment I don't want to have to text him let alone have to be in his company! Maybe it's my turn to feign sickness?

There has been another flurry on POF, including one that may be a possibility for meeting, has been e-mailing for a couple of days and texting yesterday, he's not really tall enough for me at 5'9 and lives with his mum but he's nice looking and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be sleeping giving up his bed to sleep in the spare room, that alone at the moment has to be promising?! I think for now he will be Art Boy.

Video Boy has come on the scene again and asked if I'd like to try again at a first or third date, I have said yes (well with going for friends with Space Cadet if nothing else I need to take my mind off of it and he's nice enough)

Mr F1 has again asked if I'd like to go out, I've said maybe when he gets back from holiday which buys me a few weeks and Salesman has been been bobbing around as ever.

More soon and probably after tomorrow when I report nothing more than a friendly trip to the cinema, with my new found 'mate'

I can honestly say I'm not loving this dating malarky at the moment, why can't you just meet people in the old fashioned way like we used to?

Expectations.............dashed!

Well Saturday was a HUGE let down, I was left waiting and waiting and waiting to eventually get a going home soon, followed a while later by can we make it tomorrow afternoon (I knew it, I knew it!) I threw a bit of a strop if I'm honest and told him that I didn't think that it was ever going to happen and it was a bit late in the day to cancel, etc, etc and basically ended it with 'I give up - have a good one' to which I received a reply saying that he was going home and if I didn't still hate him and wanted cuddles then come over. I responded by saying that 'I don't want to keep being fucked around'

If I'm honest normally my pride alone would have stopped me from going but I was talking to a friend and she thought I should go as he'd left the boys and came home, eventually I went over and things were fine as normal, couple of glasses of wine a DVD that wasn't really watched due to too much talking, none of the promised cuddles.

Bed time came and I have to say it was all a bit awkward, if I'm honest it wasn't even about the sex, infact probably far from it but I'd had a really bad week and could have really done with a cuddle, we both used the bathroom and after much hesitation I asked where I was sleeping, he told me I could have his bed and he slept in the spare room, I didn't get much sleep but to be honest I never do in strange beds, however to add insult to injury his neighbours were having sex above his bed on Sunday morning - not impressed!!

He was still in bed when I got up at 10, I debated making the tea or just leaving to be honest but kind of felt that doing that was a bit rude, so I waited nearly an hour and took him tea in bed, he then got up, I stayed at his until about 3, all was fine, we get on great but apart from a hug and kiss goodbye, nothing, absolutely nothing.

To say I felt deflated on Sunday is a total understatement, which is stupid really as I knew what was going  to happen, I'm not as stupid as I sound here, really I'm not but I can't help but like him and I can't help but go for the wrong men!

He text a couple of times during the early evening on Sunday and I ignored him, I eventually replied after getting one that ended saying I'd left my wine so I would have to come over next weekend to help him finish it off, is he fucking nuts or what?! I replied saying 'don't worry, drink it!' he said he'd had a nice evening and thaned me for his tea in bed, saying that he 'could get used to that!' I said thatr he should get his new flatmate trained up.

The texts have kept coming on Monday he sent one saying that there was a distinct lack of kissed in my texts and that he could tell that I was tired and pissed off (I don't think he realises that I'm pissed off at him mind!)
I responded by saying 'Oiiiii don't moan now love you had plenty of opportunity this weekend for kisses and cuddles' and the reponse was 'Oh I see, so no more text kisses then' with a sad face, what the fuck is going on in this boys head?!

ARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so in the last 14 days we have a further 887 messages to add to the thousands that have gone before it, ok I think I'm officially mad, why on earth would you spend that much time on someone your not interested in?!

Mr F1 text on Sunday saying he'd like to go out again........yeah just my luck.

Still being offered a week in Dubai.........just my luck

Why can't I meet a decent man that isn't a complete wanker and/or fuck up?

Friday's Date with Mr F1

It's been a tough week for the family and I've had to dart over to be with them and dread everytime the phone rings.

The Salesman didn't happen on Tuesday, he text asking if we could do another night (I nearly did this but suspected that he would) I said no but if he wanted to come out one night when I'm out for dinner with the Bestfriend then I would see him then, this has fairly effectively stopped the texts for the last few days.

Last night it was the date with Mr F1, I didn't feel any of the usual pre-date nerves and went to meet him at the pub where I'd first met the Space Cadet, I felt a little bad about this but it is the only place I know in the middleish. He text to say he was there and I responded that I'd be about 5 minutes.

As soon as I got out of the car I could see that he wasn't my type at all, I knew he was about 5'10 which is about 4 inches taller than me but had kind of forgotten how short that is compared to the 6 foot plus guys I've been spending time with, he looked a bit like his photo's but kind of more scrawny!

I'm pretty sure the barman recognised me from when he was asking us to leave at midnight on a Sunday when we were the only one's in the pub, I had a joke with the barman as we ordered drinks and we sat down.

The whole conversation felt like hard work, he kept asking questions and I answered firing questions back at him but in all honesty I don't think I was really interested in the answers, even his job which I expected to be really excited about was a bit of a flop, it turns out because of what he does he's only ever been to one of the Grand Prix's, they don't even see the full size car and the only time he meets the race team is at the Christmas Party!

He's been single for a long time, he likes Bonsai tree's (WTF?!) he drinks John Smith's (Old!) and gin, it appears that he doesn't do much because he doesn't have many friends here and those that he does are all settled, I honestly think that the boy would bore the life out of me, he does however own his own house and have a new car, as per usual those things really do nothing to attract me!

When he went to the toilet I took the opportunity to sneak a look at my phone to see a couple of messages from a couple of friends and two messages from the Space Cadet, one about his game today and one an hour and a half later with one of his you've not answered messages, so I replied (he obviously didn't know I was out on a date) He also asked if I'd like to go and see a film that we both want to see next week, which as we've not even done tonight yet I found a bit odd, normally he's hard enough to pin down for one night let alone arranging the next first, I said yes and then behaved when date arrived back.

I kept subtly (I'm not good with subtle if I'm honest!) looking at the time on my watch and thinking that it was too early to leave but it got to a point where I couldn't bear it anymore and said I'd better get off, he asked the time and I said 10.15 which is what my watch said, I went to the loo and saw on my phone that I'd not put the clock forward (I don't wear a watch often!) I could have escaped earlier!

We walked to the cars, he was standing a little close so I backed away and said nice to meet you and goodbye, there was nooooo way I was doing the whole kiss goodnight thing, I can honestly say it's the worst date I've had this side of 30!

Texting with the Space Cadet continued until late, he's being very sweet, he reckon's he will have finished Cricket, home and sorted by about 9 tonight, he's been so very sweet this week with all that's been going on in my life and I do feel that the table's have turned a little bit, I'm still skeptical that it's going to happen to be honest but we will see later won't we?

I did say that if Friday went badly I felt that Saturday would and vice versa, tomorrow you and I will both know if I'm right!

A funny day for it

My head has been in the totally wrong place, all I've done is think, think, think and after finding some 'sentimental' stuff from the ex yesterday I've been thinking that he was a lot of words that I wanted to hear but few and far between on the action front, something that made me think of the Space Cadet, all I've thought all day is that I should step away from it, it's not only that that's wrong at the moment, I'm hating the job I loved, working too much, playing too little and still in pain, so not a great day in all, I won't bore you with the rubbish, after all this is about kissing princes not the day to day rut of life!

I'm going to write this while I'm still excited and before he changes his mind or gets ill (yeah wait for that bit!)

Well back to the point, the Space Cadet text tonight and we were talking about my day, I was a little surprised when the text ended in 'If you fancy a bottle of vino on fri or sat night you are more than welcome huni, you know I will make you smile ;-)'

I was a little surprised as he said he was busy this weekend but I responded saying it would be difficult to get home after a bottle of wine but it may well be needed by the weekend, his answer was to say I could crash there but we'd talk about it in the week.

Now I know I'm cynical but I do expect this offer to disappear by the weekend, lets see hey?

On another note Mr F1 has been in touch on a daily basis and asked me out today (men are like bloody buses I tell you) I have as I promised my friend said yes (she is very excited about him!) I would quite like to say no as I believe in working them out one man at a time but as we have already discovered if I wait for Space Cadet I could just end up disappointed that I've turned other things down and if I work on his logic it's not a date unless it involves dinner and just a drink has been discussed with Mr F1, so that's ok right?!

Also I was due to go out with Flowers Boy but wriggled out of it (I am quite happy to catch up as a friend but really that's all) and tomorrow I am due to go for a drink with the Salesman, now again it's only a drink and I don't want to go back down that road but it's been a long time and a catch up will be nice I think?!