Another Week...............

Is halfway through.

No news from Cunt Face since Saturday (No surprises really) No news from the Cake Destroyer since late Sunday eve, however he is on exercise so I didn't expect to as I'm pretty sure that they aren't allowed phones (he's not been on Whatsapp since 5am Monday morning which seems to fit with me thinking they aren't allowed phones) so we'll see if I hear from him over the weekend when he's back, he was terribly complementary on Sunday after the date, so I've got no real reason to think he won't, however you know how this internet dating thing is these days, you are the best thing in the world one day and ghosted the next!

The sites are pretty busy with messages but I can't really be arsed at the moment, I'm totally bored of small talk and boring questions, maybe time to take a break? However when I take a break I kinda feel like I'm waiting for CF to get in touch and maybe I am a bit, I like having someone that messages me each day, the Cancerian in me needs to feel needed and it saves me making it all up in my vivid little imagination!

I've found it a bit odd not hearing from CD each day, as I have since we first matched, not messages all day like CF and I used to do but one first thing and then a couple more once he finishes work, however our messages are rarely short, they are always long and with substance which makes such a nice change (I did also check the Tinder distance and it's not moved so he's not looked on that since he left either) dating these days makes you a bit paranoid I think.

Mr Bumble has been in touch, he popped up saying that the serial dater needed some help, basically he's been chatting to a woman who's 'currently married' I said I'd need further details but turns out she's only been split with her husband a month ago, on that I said I wouldn't touch it, it's too soon and I think that anyone that can't have a bit of space in their lives after relationship (even more so a marriage) has issues but that I'm not like most and I regard marriage very highly and something that you should take seriously.

Anyway he's going for dinner with her tonight, she's suggested a posh seafood restaurant which he says he finds a bit odd, he also messaged last night to say he had a 'Whatsapp Date' I'm not entirely sure what that is but he says he'll fill me in and she'd asked what his favourite colour was (we joke that this is the most awful dating question ever, unless you are five years old) however I don't know if this is the same woman or a different one! He says the married woman is hot so he's going to see what happens, she also has a toddler and a lot of baggage so we'll see how that one goes.

He asked a question yesterday and it's kind of played on my mind a little bit, he asked if CD was a bit young for me (he's 29, 30 next months and I'm now 39) so it's 9 years between us. Mr Bumble is 31 so I asked if he felt I was too old for him, he said not at all, so I'm not sure why there is such a difference between someone who is 29 and someone who is 31? Is he too young for me?

Works been slow this week, which has given me rather a lot of time in my own head, which realistically is never good when you are me, I fell asleep on the sofa last night, I'm constantly tired, I do wonder if it's down to life just being so stressful in general, with work happenings the week before last and the rollercoaster that is my lack of a love life?

The return of 22.......

So, first time I've been out in the village in ages, planned to have a night out with ET to catch up as we've not seen each other for a while (she's not got a boyfriend so I don't get much of a look in!)

Getting ready when I get a text from ET, all it says is '22's here' oh shit is all that goes through my head, I look in the mirror, I look decent, hairs done, make ups done, top and jeans on, I'm in a better place now I tell myself.

I walked in and had to walk past him to get to where I was going, we said hi, in the minute our eyes met spin reappeared, I downed the vodka, to be fair at a stupid rate, it was always going to end badly.

He came over to me (he is still in casts and on crutches) and talked to me, still there is something there but I wasn't going to let it happen again, his mate came and started talking to me, the one that he'd said I had an admirer, he's sweet, a nice lad, 21 this time, he walked me home, we kissed, thankfully I came to my senses before it went any further, I wasn't reacting because I liked him, I was acting out of hurt, I don't need you and I can walk out with your mate and hurt you too!!

The next day I was going out with baggage boy and the four year old to the air museum, boy did I feel rough! I told BB what had happened and he laughed at me as usual!
We had a lovely day but a little painful too, we looked like a family, a little boy between us holding our hands and calling us to look at things, I took a beautiful photo of them both while they weren't looking, it's his cover photo on FB, it made me see what I'm missing, although I'd still not want it with him or to do it on my own.

22 text me the next day while I was with BB to ask what happened, I said nothing, he didn't believe me I don't think but then I guess it's none of his business, he hurt me before him and still we are nowhere near even on that score (Not that I intend to even it up anymore!)

On the even up note, Too Soon is cheating on the girl from the night I put his drink over his head, I find that quite amusing in a sadistic, twisted kind of way!

Sunday

Sunday came and we were both due to be out again, we sat in the garden and he came and sat with us for a bit, he was telling my friend about Saturday and shopping, he left with his friends and we were meeting again later at the other village local where I see another friend of mine on a Sunday, I got a message from him asking if I was still coming down and if I wanted him to give me a lift, I said I'd be fine and walk down, I'm glad I did as I walked in and his parents were there, I was a little embarrassed to say the least, he came and joined me at the bar, we got paired up for skittles and when they said our names he said how nice it sounded and when I was trying to read my star sign he said he could tell me what my week was going to be like! He kept asking when I'd let him take me for dinner and dropped to my friend (that knew nothing) that we'd been shopping, it wasn't until later that she asked where I'd been on the Saturday and commented that he'd been to the same place!

Anyway, I fronted saying hello to the parents and making polite conversation, all the time wondering whether they knew anything or not.

We walked back to mine with the two people that normally walk me home and he came in, where he was telling me how much he liked me, I told him that I very much felt it was too soon for him and that I didn't want to get hurt, get cold feet easily (he told me to put socks on!) and that I felt he was rushing in, he disagrees totally and says it's over, he's never going back and he likes me so why should he wait, which I half get and half don't!

He went home saying it was up to me and maybe I ought to call him when I thought he should be ready, I spent the whole of Monday feeling miserable because he'd left with a face like a kicked puppy.

I went for dinner with my friend in the evening, she's known him all of their lives and said I should think sod everyone and what they think if I like him, again she has a point but it would without a doubt come with some shit!

She said one of the young lads that was out said about how much chemistry there was between us and that it wouldn't have been hard for his Mum and Dad to work it out as he'd been next to me from the moment I'd walked in, she also said that she'd never seen him quiet and shy before and it was quite sweet, you know me, I'm a nightmare, we'll see if he makes the next update in my discombobulated little world!

I got a message while we were at dinner, just a smiley face and a load of kisses.

She asked me if I found him attractive and I said that honestly I don't to look at but there is obviously something there (quite possibly smell)  I'm still not sure what to do if I'm honest, I am scared of being hurt and I do honestly think it's too soon for him and I'm not sure I really want to get involved in it all if I'm honest.